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High-rise Fridge Delivery
Posted at: 2009-07-06 09:51:49
Original ad:
I bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.
From Mike Partlow to ************@**********.org

Hello,

I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.

When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.

From marty ******* to Me

absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty,

You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?

Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.

How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty,

I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?

I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."

From marty ******* to Me

Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.

From Mike Partlow to marty *******

Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.

Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.

So see you Tuesday?

Mike

From marty ******* to Me

shut the fuck up.
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
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dez (2014-03-17 23:44:04)
oh man, this is comedy gold, it really is, i cant stop laughing, thanks so much
cortes (2014-01-28 22:38:56)
Fuck you spam......anyway this guy is funny
tobias (2013-12-27 14:58:54)
Man you are too good man. Iv never read something that hasn't made me laugh from this site.
Jurmilo (2013-10-29 19:32:13)
LOLOLOOO
pricefisher (2013-06-14 02:02:56)
the orange doesn't taste like gatorade...heee
fisher price (2013-06-14 02:01:29)
ha there is ads for small refrigerators on the page
fhgj (2013-05-05 05:44:09)
"weak little body" hahahahaha
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TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 22:08:30)
Please stop - it hurts too much.
Andre (2012-12-25 16:32:19)
Motivational words, hahaha!
Budlight (2012-11-18 16:30:20)
You just need to get into the right mindset!
deebee (2012-10-25 13:19:50)
that's how easy it is to get SanJay to go to 399 lol
Jason#209128 (2012-10-14 18:55:19)
I haven't read one of these emails and not laughed my ass off at it. This one had me going when he said he could stand behind him and yell out encouraging and motivational words to him.
OMG! :-))) (2012-09-09 15:24:37)
" Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words" ....just DYING with laughter here!!!
Timmah (2012-08-03 07:37:27)
Particularly enjoyed the use of "see you next tuesday"
deputy98 (2012-07-21 10:26:59)
120 ex-wife haha
Mortician (2012-07-16 15:10:26)
It's difficult to read this when I have to be quiet.
ladiie (2012-07-07 15:56:07)
LOLOLOLOLOL
anonymous (2012-06-28 13:19:38)
I loled hard with motivational words!
Jocylfroot (2012-06-15 17:10:45)
OMFG LOLOLOLOLOL LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "you can do it Marty!"
Deojeff (2012-06-11 07:44:18)
LMFAOOOOOO!! I laughed pretty damn hard on this!! XD
G-spot. (2012-05-11 03:45:47)
Ha ha, its only really 62 flights of stairs. Oh well, this changes things then.

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