DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Spacious Studio Apartment
Posted at: 2011-02-10 14:39:39
Original ad:
Hello. I am a responsible young professional looking to sublet a studio or 1 br apt in or around East village. I am looking to move in on Mar 15. 2000/mo is my budget. Thans
From Me to **********@********.org:

Hey,

I am leaving for London on business and need to sublet my studio apartment immediately. It is a beautiful spacious apartment in the East Village (near Tompkins Square Park). Rent is $1750/month and you can move in as soon as February 25th. Please let me know if you are interested.

Regards,

Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:

Hi Mike thanks for responding. A few questions: how big is the apt? how long can is the lease til? do you have any pics or a floor plan? I want to move in on mar 15- is that ok?

From Me to Ari ******:

March 15th is fine with me. The apartment is 370 square feet. I don't have any pictures, but I have included a floor plan to give you an idea of the layout of the apartment. The lease is up in November 2011, but you have the option to renew if you wish. Please let me know if you have any more questions about the apartment.

Mike

Attachments:



From Ari ****** to Me:

Mike did you send me the wrong plan or is there really a pool in your apartment.

From Me to Ari ******:

Oh, yes. I should have mentioned the pool. I had an exercise pool installed in the apartment because I was training for a swimming marathon. It is a really nice pool. It is 39 inches deep with powerful jets and a vinyl liner. The pool is great if you like to swim.

Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:

Thats a pretty important thing to forget to mention, doncha think?! It takes up the whole f-ing apartment! How is there no bathroom?? Where am I supposed to shower and sleep?

From Me to Ari ******:

I know, it is a really nice pool. I usually use the kitchen as the bathroom. You can either pee in the sink, or out the window. The window overlooks an alley behind 5th St, and most of the time nobody walks below you. Even if you do piss on someone, you are on the 7th floor so they will probably have no idea where it came from. By the time it hits them, you will most likely be zipped up and have the window shut. The sink has a garbage disposal in case you need to take a dump.

Showering? You don't need to shower - you have a pool! Just go for a swim any time you are trying to wash off.

Sleep? I've got that covered too. I have an extremely comfortable pool raft I sleep on. It is like sleeping on a waterbed! It has a couple of cup holders you can put your phone/keys/beer/whatever in. I'll include this with the apartment for an extra $10.

I am free tomorrow if you want to check the place out and fill out the sublet papers.

Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:

Hmm well yes that does sound nice, but I am looking for a place where I dont have to shit in my sink and sleep in a goddamn pool. Come on man! Good luck finding someone to rent you'll need it!

From Me to Ari ******:

You don't have to shit in the sink, it is just an option. You can also shit out the window, or shit in a bucket next to the window and dump it out the window. There is an Indian restaurant that backs up to the alley, so it already smells like shit down there.

At least come over and try my raft before you decide that sleeping in a pool is a bad thing. I'll even throw in a couple of pool noodles for free.

Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:

Stop trying to sell me your POS apartment, if you can even call it that. You know what makes an apartment an apartment? A bed. Bathroom. Furnature. NOT A FUCKING POOL.

Why am I arguing with you? This is fucking ridiculous. Conversation over.

From Me to Ari ******:

Why are you so afraid of sleeping in this pool? Be honest, do you not know how to swim? If so, I can give you the number of a good lifeguard I know.

From Ari ****** to Me:

Shut the hell up. I hope you drown in your pool!

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Hermelinda (2025-02-14 12:16:28)
Inizia nel mondo di Winnita Casinò online: il posto dove il divertimento incontra la possibilità di vincere! Ogni funzionalità di questa piattaforma sicura e legale è pensato per garantire l’esperienza migliore a chi ama il gioco d'azzardo.
Miguel M (2025-02-14 04:11:43)
Immediate attention needed Hey, I’m Miguel. I saw your website and noticed a few small issues. It’s a little hard to use, the design looks a bit old, and it takes time to load. These things can make visitors leave before they even check out what
Vernon Dodery (2025-02-11 20:30:29)
Hi, I came across your website and thought Deel might be a great fit for your business. It’s a simple way to handle payroll, contracts, and compliance—whether you’re hiring locally or globally. Deel automates payments, takes care of tax laws,
Doris Halse (2025-02-10 00:07:13)
Subject: Unleash the Power of Your Business with GoHighLevel! Dear Entrepreneurs and Business Leaders, Are you ready to revolutionize the way you run your business? Say hello to GoHighLevel - the all-in-one platform that will elevate your business t
Corrine (2025-02-09 15:24:10)
Здравия Желаю, Друзья. В данный момент я бы хотел рассказать больше про order backlinks indexer. Я уверен Вы искали реально про easy backlinks for seo! По
Evan Rechner (2025-01-31 09:40:10)
Hi there! Interested in transforming your love life with magic? Discover a world of spiritual love journeys at [We Love Spells](https://bit.ly/3wxgcBO). Imagine a place where affection grows and personal growth is part of the journey. Our exp
(2025-01-29 18:07:38)
Hello Entrepreneur Is your business idea viable and requires loan debt financing? We have investment firm specialists that might help. I look forward to your speedy answer. Regards, Mark Gibbs
Jawad M (2025-01-27 04:26:15)
Hi, I came across your website on Google and noticed a small issue with your logo and it doesn’t fully reflect the potential of your brand. I’d love to help you fix this and create a logo that truly represents your business. If you’d like to wo
Arianne Audet (2025-01-24 17:19:07)
Digital Eden, a cool sofware company, is offering your business a FREE marketing audit report that uses powerful new tools to: Analyze your entire digital footprint and show how you where you stand, what you’re missing out on, and how to improve.
Gale Robinson (2025-01-17 11:46:05)
I’ve got some leads that are interested in your company. If you'd like to receiv them, just respond with the word "YES" and I'll send them over!
Alex Broma (2025-01-15 20:22:16)
Hello! Do you spend a lot of time driving, meeting clients, partners, and traveling? Then you know how important it is for your car to be not just a means of transportation but a reflection of your professional style. We know how to make it easier f
Ken Han (2025-01-14 15:18:46)
Hi there, Did you know you could get the exact same products you love—but for a fraction of the price? With AliExpress, you don’t just shop, you save. Here’s why AliExpress is your best shopping destination: - Unbeatable prices – Direct-f
Alex Broma (2025-01-13 23:51:43)
Hello, HubSpot is a leading platform for managing sales, marketing, and customer service. It helps automate business processes, improve client communication, and increase sales. What can HubSpot offer you? - A user-friendly CRM for managing your
Daniel Sager (2024-12-17 07:08:06)
Hi there! Did you know that 84% of people trust online reviews as much as personal recommendations? And that 90% of consumers read online reviews before visiting or hiring a business? In the digital age, reviews make or break a business. They drive cus
Tim Muhin (2024-12-15 07:29:39)
Hi, We’re excited to introduce you to AroundWire, a platform designed to help flooring businesses like yours attract more clients easily. Best of all, it’s completely free to create a listing and start connecting with customers today. Feel free
Jawad F (2024-12-10 13:41:19)
Hi, I came across your website on Google and noticed your logo could use a little upgrade. A weak logo can make your brand forgettable, and that’s the last thing you want. I can help design a logo that grabs attention and sticks with your custo
Buster Hassell (2024-12-06 20:27:09)
Hi, I came across your website and thought Deel could be a great fit for your business. It’s a platform that makes managing payroll, contracts, taxes, and compliance easy. Whether you’re hiring locally or globally, Deel helps automate payments, s
Louis Key (2024-11-27 18:40:36)
Hi, I came across your website and thought Deel could be a great fit for your business. It’s a platform that makes managing payroll, contracts, taxes, and compliance easy. Whether you’re hiring locally or globally, Deel helps automate payments,
Murtaza Ali (2024-11-26 11:44:47)
Hi there, I hope this message finds you well! My name is Murtaza, and I specialize in helping businesses enhance their online reputation through targeted review strategies. In today’s digital landscape, positive reviews can make a significant diff
Miranda m (2024-11-10 03:43:10)
Hey, Noticed that your site isn’t ranking on the first page of Google. Are you currently doing anything to address that? I specialize in helping website like yours rank on the first page within 90 days through proven SEO strategies for free to build m
Tim Muhin (2024-11-09 12:18:13)
Hi, We’re excited to introduce you to AroundWire, a platform designed to help air conditioning businesses like yours attract more clients easily. Best of all, it’s completely free to create a listing and start connecting with customers today. Feel
Daniel Mcmichael (2024-11-09 07:21:22)
Hi there! Did you know that 84% of people trust online reviews as much as personal recommendations? For any business, this means your online reputation can either bring in more customers—or push them away. At Go Big Reviews, we help businesses lik
Jawad m (2024-11-06 22:48:36)
Hi, I came across your website and noticed that your current logo design has potential for improvement. I’d love to offer you my services to help refine your brand identity and make it stand it out on google. I’m committed to providing personalize
Lashay (2024-11-02 08:26:19)
Sexshop: качество и наслаждение по лучшим ценам с конфиденциальной доставкой Ищете разнообразие? Посетите интернет-магазин sex-shop-magazin.ru - ваш
Stepanie Gerow (2024-10-18 23:52:19)
Learn how to make $1000 a day from copy and past videos https://rebrand.ly/Jet-Video-Academy-2023

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks