DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Glorious Master Translator
Posted at: 2012-04-23 17:29:34
Original ad:
I need someone who speaks japanese to help me translate something. wont take too long. please email me ASAP!

From Me to ************@***********.org:

Hi! You need Japanese translate? I Chan, I help you with translate.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

hey chan. so ok heres the deal. my cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part. can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output?



From Me to Scott *******:

Ok, I find three thing may help you:

"Failure of Sound from Device"
"Skipping of disc for poor sound"
"Sound volume low very much"

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

umm..what does it say for the failure of sound one?

From Me to Scott *******:

"Hello and thank you for chose glorious master CD player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To fix failure of the sound, follow step:

1. Unplug glorious master CD player
2. Plug glorious master CD player back in"

I hope this help!

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

that doesnt help me at all. is that all it says?

From Me to Scott *******:

Oh no! Very sorry. There more steps to help you! Here:

"If still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master CD player possessed by audio demon. To banish audio demon, follow step:

1. Ignite seven candle
2. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music
3. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering
4. Try play CD again

If you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest immediate death by Seppuku."

I hope you banish audio demon! Much luck.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf? does it really say that?

From Me to Scott *******:

I just translate what you give.

From Scott ******* to Me:

no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?

From Me to Scott *******:

Very sorry, audio demon big problem with many CD player! I have sword, much sharp, good for seppuku. You want borrow?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf are you talking about. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?

From Scott ******* to Me:

did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that one



From Me to Scott *******:

That no table of content, that Sushi take-out menu! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!

From Scott ******* to Me:

..........ok buddy. thanks for nothing you jackass



Later, from another email account



From Me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there,

I saw your ad and think I can help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

thanks so much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that?



From Me to Scott *******:

You sent me a sushi take-out menu. Are you sure you have the right documents?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?

From Me to Scott *******:

Japanese instruction manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at it closer, it says "Thank you for purchasing this glorious master CD player. Why not order sushi while you enjoy music?"

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

well that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound?



From Me to Scott *******:

Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

yea i did that. nothing. is that it?

From Me to Scott *******:

Well, you're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." You should light three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.

Mike

From Me to Scott *******:

Scott? Were you able to banish the audio demon?

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
CloulaLal (2016-07-28 08:04:28)
The American Most cancers Society discovered no reason to alter its advice for annual mammographic screening for girls over forty years of age.Article From Article Directory DatabaseAfter 232 years of independence and 43 presidents, the United States of A
sondrilDinnom (2016-07-28 06:28:00)
Men are practical and everything they use has a function or meaning. My ausative is to provide the good and subservient selective information and tips to my online buyers. They learn nearby clear-cut body image, good nutrition, and devices to put a stop t
Soypeonex (2016-07-28 06:19:56)
Over Five milliard people are living on the pla Earth and they all want to buy what is best and often Inter is the only ple to locate top-quality items at good prices. Given all the political unrest in Libya, Egypt, Bahrain and places around, and the extr
n3t4 (2016-07-27 12:56:04)
jaajajaajjaaa so funny
Coodulmomiemn (2016-07-19 06:30:29)
Oklahoma University is a famous university of USA, located in Norman, Oklahoma. Purchases could be paid for imdiately and you"ll store right from the consolation of your house.Have you ever questioned if on-line banking is right for you? You"ve go
sondrilDinnom (2016-07-16 08:39:16)
The auspicious constellations for the other subjects - logic and the philosophy are the Sravana, Moola, Hasta, Uttara and the Satabia. Students show their excellence in sports, cultural programs, dance programs, athletics and others. The university has wo
CloulaLal (2016-07-16 08:18:12)
Industry experts should make sturdy relationships with peers, but additionally subordinates and superiors.Sugar, cut it out! - Replace soda and Fruit Juice with water, you will cut your caloric intake significantly, put the sweets down and if you must hav
Coodulmomiemn (2016-07-07 03:17:20)
The chance that you have invested a great deal into making your house how you like it cannot be a ftor in this.Other than content and relations, a Google Adsense webplace is a well-constructed instance of work. It generally es to our mind as why mp3 and h
sondrilDinnom (2016-07-06 04:46:06)
Technology to keep ahead, the phones have erged as smart phones and is still evolving. The Foxtrot is one of the most deceiving dances as it looks very easy, but is one of the most difficult dances to do. In the long run the spy gears with better attribut
ChumehedA (2016-07-06 00:01:44)
She continues to be an icon for being the hugest Mexican singer ever, and on March 31st, it will have been twenty years since she was tragically shot and killed.5 million audiences because of its premiere, trumping the channel's previous record set th
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:51:04)
MAC would be the red-colored velvet luxury, soft, cream-like design right into a tight-knit texture, fully cover the present lip color , smooth lip, rub on the very naturalcontrast and also the power of soaring, and also to produce the ultimate sparkling
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:24:10)
Let us take a look at some black Friday shopping tips that may help you increase your shopping knowledge about regardsA little makeup goes along way on stage and in your photo shoots. Your most important step to look great in a photo is to take good care
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:19:28)
Stick with an organization method that works for you; it may make more sense to you to put your supplies together by color instead of by kind, or perhaps by brand rather than by any other classification.And Thus, what kind of makeup does MAC provide? Well
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:13:42)
but the majority mm tangled endless. Silence of the winter you want to release the evil yourself? MAC Cosmetics make-up series to give you Swept Disney magic,so check out the fab coral-tone set signed MAC and adapt your lip gloss to your mood:Brand in lin
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:11:40)
not enough to give you the full sun protection you will need. (Try Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunblock SPF 30)Lipsticks to fundamentals through the facial or even the colors of nail polish, MAC professional cosmetic is adapting its selection of colo
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:10:12)
It's hypo-allergenic, is less allergy creating, and is effective on all skin tones, particularly sensitive skin.on the makeup, the temperature of up to three more than ten degrees, even if only a moment, may also be smudged makeup, even in a moment,MA
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:09:00)
It is because the MAC may be the makeup from the original demands of professional features, all sales staff is trained professional makeup artist.The face is really a canvas along with a clean canvas, is much simpler to utilize.The Rocky Horror Picture Sh
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:08:55)
Although there is information constantly remind us of the terrible ultraviolet radiation in sunlight, but with the sun close to the human heart is not stopped Moreover,Individuals with oily skin should avoid primers having a high silicone gel content, as
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:08:18)
If you're going swimming or sweating things will wear off by the end of the day (except the mascara). Don't worry about it.Again, apply in the center third from the face - the edges from the nose and center of the temple and face - sweep the spong
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:07:02)
Luckily, the collections are open to everyone nowadays, and it is elevated profile has managed to get much more sought after.We anticipate more competitive key phrases bids, however the elevated number and oft-frantic character of people shouldn't dis
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 23:06:43)
is particularly produced for professional photo shoots! Within the 1980's, when MAC began, the organization designed a phenomenal type of makeup"Mirror ah mirror, this is in the world who is the most beautiful? this sentence is beauty of their vic
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:41:12)
The show grew to become a rankings giant for that network, drawing a remarkable 4.This can be a little tricky what you should determine is exactly what much more of an epidermis type you're.but there are also light-hearted reviews of other indexes whi
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:34:19)
A fundamental, but pivotal guideline would be to always understand what black Friday deals you will try to buy before getting towards the store.In the Urban Decay site: 'Primer Concoction may be the ultimate eye prep product for softer, longer-lasting
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:20:34)
They should supplment your looks which help improve your glamour and looks to some preferred level.The show grew to become a rankings giant for that network, drawing a remarkable 4.When using mascara don't pump the comb, should you choose the environ
ChumehedA (2016-07-05 22:16:28)
MAC Cosmetics is definitely an innovative, cutting-edge brand that's been creating legendary crimson shades for a long time.Know your skin well. Determine whether you have dry, normal or oily skin. The effectiveness of online cosmetics may greatly dep

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks