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Important Document
Posted at: 2010-06-10 19:20:18
Original ad:
LOST DOCUMENT - PLEASE HELP
We were travelling down Schuykill Rd between Schoolhouse Rd and Hares Hill when a very important document blew out the window. If you find this document please let us know ASAP!
From Me to ************@************.org:

Hello,

I saw that you lost your document on the road I live on, so I figured I'd go out and try to find it for you. I found several things that could be your document but due to your lack of details I am not sure if I have the right one or not.

Mike

From Jessica ****** to Me:

Can you please describe what you found! Thanks

J

From Me to Jessica ******:

Jessica,

Here are the three documents...I hope this helps:

The first document appears to be a receipt of some kind from McDonalds. It looks like the person paid for a McDouble and a small drink.

The second document is a page out of the Philadelphia Inquirer. It has the TV guide for the date of May 17th, 2010.

I can't quite figure out what the final document is...it is partially torn. On the front it says "NICKERS" and on the back there are some nutrition facts or something. It is very fancy paper - dark on one side and shiny on the other.

I hope one of these is your document so I can get it back to you safely.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jessica ****** to Me:

Great you found a receipt for food...a newspaper page...and a candy bar wrapper. Thanks a lot for the help jackass.

From Me to Jessica ******:

Well which one is yours?

Also, I found an empty coffee cup from Wawa if this helps.

Mike

From Jessica ****** to Me:

Do you honestly think any of that crap is what I am looking for??? Why would you even bother emailing me I swear to god

From Me to Jessica ******:

Well I wasn't too sure about the coffee cup, but I thought maybe you wanted the McDonalds receipt because I figured that anyone who is too cheap to pay for the extra piece of cheese, and opts for the McDouble instead of the Double Cheeseburger, would probably need that receipt to get some kind of tax deduction.

I also thought perhaps you were watching a really good movie on TV and wanted to know what it was called, which is why you would have needed the TV guide. I looked through the TV guide and saw that "The Hunt For Red October" was on that night...were you thinking of that? It was the movie about submarines.

As for the candy bar wrapper, I figured you were on a diet and needed to see how many calories the candy bar was so you could figure out what else you were allowed to eat for the day.

I was just trying to help. Maybe next time you should be more specific as to what the document is. If you are going to be ungrateful, then I am just going to throw these documents back into the street where I found them.

Mike

From Jessica ****** to Me:

None of those things are documents!! How stupid are you????

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Deanna (2014-02-19 09:17:05)
Once I saw the smiley face, I couldn't stop laughing. Keep it up!
Jay (2014-01-22 21:23:31)
Ask a stupid question...
Sandeep (2013-10-21 02:00:26)
Mike, you smoke some good shit mahn!!
PUH (2013-10-19 01:16:54)
Lol i am an apple.. document that biotch
Togarashi (2013-10-08 23:20:34)
This is the genuine internet troll xD
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kantoyar4 (2013-04-20 18:59:06)
Wow, that Jessica is a huge bitch. First she asks for an impossible task, and then when a seemingly nice guy tries to help, she calls him a jackass. I hope losing that document got her fired.
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The Police (2013-03-21 08:05:32)
@Jessica, Also, please tell Sting to stop tying us in with his damn activism efforts, as none of us care about egregious world-wide human rights violations. Thank you.
The Police (2013-03-21 08:03:00)
@Jessica, Thank you for registering a formal complaint with us, unfortunately, we do not send people to jail for a million years for the crime of internet trolling. Thank you for your time and incompetence.
haha (2013-03-17 17:59:35)
lol @ jessica :)
Nanananana Blackman! (2013-02-02 18:43:31)
Jessica-Dafuq is wrong with you?!
Ryan (2013-01-29 01:43:29)
Bahaha. Another one that needs to be on the Top Rated list!
anonymous (2013-01-23 00:42:53)
She *really* should have been more specific. :P
petiesrevenge (2012-12-10 21:58:15)
Jessica you twat lol. No one has ever been to jail for a million years. Silly woman. Are you as good at making sammiches as your are at lojsing shit? If so you should work for subway. I want mine toasted normally. Do you like subway? I do mmmmmm
Jessica (2012-11-19 23:04:03)
OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING FAGGOT IM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE SO YOU GO TO JAIL FOR A MILLION YEARS BURN IN HELL FAG

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