From Dan Gibson to Peg ******

Hello,

I own a waterfront house and have not booked the weekend of August 1st yet. Let me know if you are still interested.

Thanks,

Dan

From Peg ****** to Me
We are still looking for a house to rent. Can you tell us a little about the house? Which beach, how big, rental rate, etc...

-Peg

From Dan Gibson to Peg ******
Peg,

It is a beautiful 1 bedroom townhouse in the heart of Chester. I am only renting out the bedroom on the first floor, because the second floor is boarded up from a fire that happened last month. Don't let that scare you away though - the first floor is the epitome of luxury.

In the den, you'll find a couch, TV, and table. The table is great for putting stuff on when you are sitting on the couch. I'm not quite sure if the TV still works after that transition to digital cable happened, but there is a VCR, and a few tapes on VHS. I think one of the movies is Predator 2, but if you are looking for something a little more family-oriented, I have some episodes of Oz that I taped off of HBO. My kids love it.

The kitchen comes fully equipped with a microwave and sink. The township disconnected water to the building for various reasons, but I will leave behind a few gallon jugs of water that you can use. The water is probably more sanitary than water from the sink, anyway.

The bedroom has a mattress on the floor, and a handheld fan to keep you cool during those hot summer nights.

The back window of the house overlooks a beautiful neighborhood drainage reservoir. You are literally right on the water.

Now I must warn you that this is in a bit of a shady neighborhood. There were 17 robberies last month, and a few shootings. Don't worry though, there are locks on the windows and I have a stool near the front door that you can wedge under the doorknob to serve as an extra lock.

As of right now, the weekend of the 1st is not booked. I am willing to rent the house to you for that weekend for a discounted price of $300 a night. Should I put you down for that Friday?

Dan

From Peg ****** to Me
You seriously rent that piece of shit?! Yeah let me tell you how my family would love to spend the weekend on a vacation in CHESTER. Get real buddy

From Dan Gibson to Peg ******
Peg,

Don't let the fact that it is in Chester scare you away from my resort of a vacation home. I don't know if you have heard, but crime is down in Chester by over 6 percent.

The gunshots at night aren't that bad - the last guests that rented out my house even said that they found the gunshots to be soothing.

This late in the summer, you won't find a vacation deal like this anywhere else. You don't want to pass this up!

Dan

From Peg ****** to Me
um I think I do want to pass this up. getting robbed in the middle of the night isn't my idea of a vacation.

From Dan Gibson to Peg ******
I told you I had a stool to barricade the front door. I guess if that isn't enough, I'll let you borrow my Glock 21. It will put a .45 slug straight through anything that tries to enter the house. Just make sure your kids don't play with it - I don't want to have to deal with any more accidents. I'll include this as "extra security" for an extra $50 for the weekend.

Dan

From Dan Gibson to Peg ******
So do you want the house or not? I have plenty of other people who want to rent the house that weekend, so will you make up your mind and stop wasting my time?

Dan

From Peg ****** to Me
stop wasting YOUR time? how about you stop wasting MY time dickhead! I think I made myself very clear that I dont want to rent your shitty project house. how can you call that a resort, that thing should be condemned!

From Dan Gibson to Peg ******
Peg, I am sorry to hear that you do not want to stay at my Chester getaway. If you are still looking for a vacation rental, I have a beautiful row house in West Baltimore for rent. Let me know!