The Shaniqua Chronicles pt. 3
Posted at: 2009-06-08 00:52:03
Original ad:
**********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500
HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP.
(the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad)
Me to SHANIQUA *************
Hello,
I saw your ad on ********** and I think I have a great car for you. I am selling my 1996 Ford Explorer. I used to work in the film industry, and I got this car after it was used in a movie. It has a custom paint job from the movie set. I barely drive it, so it has only around 60,000 miles on it. I really have no use for it anymore, so I am willing to get rid of it. Take a look at it and let me know what you think. I've attached a few pictures of it. Please note that it did have a MINOR accident involving an animal and may have slight damage.
Thanks!
Attachment:
SHANIQUA ************* to Me
Sir I thank you for trying to help but I don't want to drive the truck from the dinosaur movie.I wouldn't mind if I had money to get it painted over but I don't. Thanks anyway
Me to SHANIQUA *************
I always believe that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and you shouldn't judge this car by its paint job. It has a great engine that will not quit. From the inside, you can't even tell it is painted like that. This car is reliable, and will NOT be going extinct any time soon.
SHANIQUA ************* to Me
No thanks!!!!
Me to SHANIQUA *************
Tell you what, for an extra 50 bucks I will spray paint the entire car flat black. I took an art class in high school so I have some experience painting and it will look great.
SHANIQUA ************* to Me
NO THANKS!!!WHEN YOU GET A SHINY BLUE OR BLACK ONE THEN YOU LET ME KNOW.
Me to SHANIQUA *************
Here's what I am willing to do. For $60, I will spray paint the entire car black, and then cover it with scotch tape so it is shiny. I'll also throw in a VHS of Jurassic Park I taped off of TBS 5 years ago. Includes many classic "retro" commercials that you don't see on TV anymore. A collector's goldmine!
SHANIQUA ************* to Me
NO THANKS TRY SOMEONE ELSE.I'VE ALREADY MADE A DEAL WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEY WILL BE BRINGING ME THE TRUCK TOMORROW MORNING.
Me to SHANIQUA *************
WAIT! Before you make that deal, check out the new, REPAINTED Explorer. I repainted it a nice shiny blue. Please check out the picture and reconsider!
Attachment:
To the twat below (2010-09-01 15:58:00)
Shut up faggot
Rae - cont. (2010-08-31 00:31:45)
although I find your letters on here amusing, it is NOT funny when sent to a single mother seeking a basic necessity vehicle for her family. Pick on someone your own size, man. Geez.
Rae (2010-08-31 00:30:45)
Okay, so after reading this one, I realized YOU replied to one of MY ads seeking a car! You sent me the same damn jurassic park pictures as well.. my replies were not entertaining, as i just figured you were some goof-off teen but hey, p.s. although i fin
BOB IS-> :) (2010-08-29 01:56:17)
LOL! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! BEST 1 EVER ALMOST PEED MAH PANTS AT THE END
admin (2010-08-23 23:43:06)
..
Hilncore (2010-08-18 17:53:35)
Got 2 luv the paint job!
anonymous (2010-08-18 15:22:50)
LMFAO. i love the paint job
Dana <3 (2010-08-09 09:06:34)
i'd buy the jurassic park explorer if i were her. DUMBASS... =))
Jesus! (2010-08-08 22:12:22)
This is obviously one of the funniest out of the 3. The picture at the end was the icing on the cake. Don't know why that black hoe is so picky about her cars though! "WHEN YOU GET A SHINY BLUE OR BLACK ONE THEN YOU LET ME KNOW."
Newf4g (2010-08-04 00:18:45)
Hahahaha i lol'd so hard at the end
holydamn (2010-08-03 11:44:57)
dude, this crap is amazing! the shiniqua cronicles were freakin hilarious!
nate (2010-08-02 18:35:14)
i find these forced and not well done. it seems like a play on 27bslash6. he's funnier :/
gorilla (2010-07-30 21:35:24)
when the fuck did we get ice cream?
Zarg12 (2010-07-30 15:04:31)
Seriously... these are some of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. I found myself in convulsive laughter on about 10-12 of these. I'm ecstatic someone turned me onto these and hope that you post a few new ones daily. The ones with the p
anonymous (2010-07-30 04:10:57)
lolz ur so funny..
Vlad (2010-07-28 03:53:41)
LMAO @ "From the inside, you can't even tell it is painted like that." :)
JoMama (2010-07-27 15:51:44)
I'm crying from laughing so hard...I would totally buy the car from THE dinosaur movie for $1500 & you wouldn't even have to paint it blue!
bblake1982@yahoo.com (2010-07-25 06:24:44)
i think i just shit my self.....
dsaghtewreaq (2010-07-15 16:57:07)
this woman is just plain retarded, she wants a practically perfect car for 1,500 lol......
Martin (2010-07-15 01:58:04)
You should have offerred that white explorer again just to let the lady know who she was dealing with.
Stanky (2010-07-12 22:55:37)
I think shaniqua will have a hard time finding a nice shiny explorer with no problems for $1500
Bamboozled (2010-07-05 01:05:07)
this wouldn't be the funniest you've done, but i just find it fucking hilarious you messed with her this much...
zebra (2010-06-30 14:24:29)
I have read the book and the last picture did lose a lot of emphasis as you couldn't tell it had been Paintbrush. (It looked like the original photo without even the "shiny" lines.)
lolzer (2010-06-28 22:19:54)
or hes a troll padawan DUH , gosh you are a retard common, that could possibly a troll comment think about it
Andurrr (2010-06-24 22:32:34)
@lolwut He's talking about the second picture. The one painted blue is the third. You're fucking stupid, learn to count.
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