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Turtle Sandbox
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:46:23
From Timmy Tucker to ***********@**********.org
RE: Swingset Assembly

Hey,

I saw you are looking for someone to assemble your wooden swing set. First off, I must say that a swing set is a horrible toy for a child. I had a swing set as a kid, and broke three of my ribs and tore my ACL on it. My career in little league soccer was ruined. I recommend that you get your child a sandbox. I have an old sandbox that I am not using, and would be willing to sell to you for $300. It is an awesome sandbox. It is shaped like a turtle, and the lid is part of the turtle too. It comes with beautiful sand filled from a beach on Coney Island, NY. Let me know if you are interested.

Tim

From John ******** to Me

i dont want your sandbox. i already bought the swingset for my kid and am sticking with that. its your own damn fault you got hurt on your swingset

From Timmy Tucker to John ******

John,

Actually it is not my fault. The swingset had a faulty design and the swing came off while I was in the air, and I was sent flying into oncoming traffic. I am lucky to be alive. If you do not want your son mangled by a Dodge Caravan, then you should buy my sandbox instead. Sandboxes are 100% safe.

Tim

From John ******** to Me

fuck your sandbox. i want my kid to have fun, not to sit in some dirty ass sand from new york. i am not an idiot and will not set up my swingset where my child can be thrown into oncoming traffic.

From Timmy Tucker to John ******

Well it sounds like you won't set up your swingset at all without my help. Are you a quadriplegic? Why are you incapable of putting a swingset together?

If you are a quadriplegic and I have offended you, I am sorry. In that case, would you be interested in my sandbox for your crippled body to relax in? Seeing as you can't use the swingset anyway, it would be way more practical for you.

From John ******** to Me

FUCK OFF STOP EMAILING ME
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Reddit_Power (2014-06-01 18:18:21)
Holy shit I love you. "Fuck yo sand box" I dies xd
anonymous (2014-03-30 13:59:57)
dirty ass sand from new york - fucking lost it in public here. can barely breathe right now.
Randy (2013-12-14 20:02:35)
It's funny how strongly anti-sandbox the other guy is lol
Mason (2013-11-14 20:38:45)
LOL…I feel bad for the sandbox!!
Shark (2013-07-12 14:20:26)
Lost it at, "fuck your sandbox" lol
john (2013-06-20 19:29:54)
Did you pick the name Timmy Tucker because of that song by moe.? If so, props
oh m g (2013-05-28 00:37:48)
" If you do not want your son mangled by a Dodge Caravan, then you should buy my sandbox instead", i am crying
Susanw (2013-05-20 21:03:16)
"Sent me flying into incoming traffic". I have tears from laughing. And what moron can't set up a damn swing set?!
btfjmtlwdg (2013-05-12 23:14:11)
Grow rock to promote a trade lion desire will make the sea electronic business affairs sets an example on the west base [Chinese shoe net - home is dynamic] develop quickly to promote the health of industry of commerce of our city electron energeticall
DC (2013-04-24 01:10:18)
"If you are a quadriplegic and I have offended you, I am sorry. In that case, would you be interested in my sandbox for your crippled body to relax in?" god damn hilarious!
Rob (2013-03-09 02:27:52)
Mike (2013-02-23 19:18:04) $300???? They are $49.99!!!! That's the joke.. He is offering them something they don't even want, and to make it worse;it's way overpriced...
Mike (2013-02-23 19:18:04)
$300???? They are $49.99!!!!
jordan (2012-11-27 19:02:15)
timmy tucker? Moe. fan??
NuclearToaster (2012-10-30 08:42:54)
This is the funniest stuff I've ever read. Ever.
Nick (2012-10-12 22:27:06)
"Fuck your sandbox" made me lol so fucking hard
Brandt (2012-09-29 01:03:31)
That last bit was the best. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. I literally have to take breaks from reading this because it is so funny.
hahaha (2012-08-08 08:44:52)
Would you be interested in my sandbox for your crippled body to relax in?
AMK (2012-07-30 01:28:45)
fuck your sandbox
Razer (2012-07-27 20:01:36)
You're not fooling anyone, "Notch".
Notch (2012-07-04 02:17:47)
This is the best site ever
anonymous (2012-06-22 17:58:43)
I died
mike hunt (2012-06-18 07:02:48)
one word: awesome
InAwe (2012-06-18 02:09:40)
I freaking love your site man. Wish to God you'd stumble upon an ad of mine and troll the shit out of me. I'm of the mind I'd probably humor you for days... Giving your grand experiment a go in my area.
White Pride (2012-06-09 00:38:11)
This shit is great
anonymous (2012-06-04 04:14:36)
Are you a quadriplegic? awesome!!

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