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"Special" Wife
Posted at: 2009-07-24 00:36:34
Original ad:
I need the help of a drywall expert to repair a large hole in our hallway wall. The hole is about three feet wide. You will need to bring all materials needed, but I will cover the cost. I can send pictures of the hole if requested.

Please respond with availability and a reasonable rate.
From Me to *************@*********.org


I saw your ad and will be able to help you out. The best thing to do for dry wall holes is to tape over the entire hole with strips of duct tape, and then paint over the duct tape. If you have wallpaper, I could just put wallpaper over the hole. That would be even easier. After the repair, nobody should lean up on the wall or it will probably tear again. I suggest hanging a picture over the hole. I have some old framed pictures of Bon Jovi that I could bring and install over the hole.

I am available all week, and my rate is $25/hr. When can I stop by?


From Brittany ********* to Me

Hi Dan! Thanks for the quick response. Sounds good! I will forward this e-mail to my husband and he'll get back to you ASAP.

From Bryan ********* to Me

My wife sent me your email, but I don't think she actually read/understood what you wrote. If you are serious, then we don't need your help. I hope that isn't how you actually repair things. Regardless, I will tell my wife to actually read the emails before sending them to me.



From Me to Bryan **********

Good afternoon Brian,

Your wife doesn't sound too smart. I was going to recommend Hooked on Phonics, but she seems to be capable of writing. I think she just does not have the ability to comprehend what she is reading. I have a cousin who is "slow", and there is this really good remedial school in Philly that he went to. They offer some classes that help with reading comprehension. If you want, I can look up the school and send the information to your wife.

- Dan

From Bryan ********* to Me

Heh heh, that might be just what she needs...

From Me to Bryan **********
CC: Brittany *********

Great! I'm forwarding our conversation to your wife, along with the school information.

The name of the school is "Smithbridge School for Special People," and you can call them at (***)-***-2195.

From Bryan ********* to Me

Oh boy...please don't...

From Brittany ********* to Me

What a jerk you are. Excuse me for being busy and quickly browsing through your letter. Go to hell!

From Me to Brittany *********

Brit, you should really consider this school. It might not seem like it, but they actually can help you. It did wonders for my cousin. He used to just stay at home with his aunt all day, but now he has a great job at McDonalds. Please, just give them a call.

Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
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Nelsonseam (2015-01-11 22:03:08)
motherfucker (2014-05-10 08:44:13)
fuck all of you motherfuckers mom and sisters
another douche (2013-08-26 18:28:28)
Actually once that day was over no one could comment on that PARTICULAR day ever without time travel!!
Tim (2013-06-08 00:17:15)
@Zeroevadee - "Brofist"? That sounds pretty sick...
Duct Tape Fixes All (2013-05-26 02:30:06)
You know, for a small hole, this probably would work.
Greg (2013-02-13 10:54:14)
I couldn't figure out who was the asshole in this one.
Annelou Amsterdam (2013-02-08 15:25:14)
Haha. The husband has humor, lmao
Jesus (2012-11-12 13:18:53)
Haha, I love how he starts each new conversation so strong in this one. He says no thank you for the repair then makes fun of his wife afterwards haha
Julius Greaser (2012-10-16 13:57:38)
The break room where I work has a hole duct taped and painted over. You ever fix any walls in Illinois?
SUPERTROLL (2012-10-15 11:31:42)
o boy please don't You could tell he was scared lol
anonymous (2012-09-11 23:45:56)
funny shit
Mike Harlow (2012-08-31 12:42:03)
Hahahaha oh boy, please don't do that Hahahaha
Mike Harlow (2012-08-31 12:42:03)
Hahahaha oh boy, please don't do that Hahahaha
Andy (2012-07-30 00:20:33)
"Just put some duct tape over the hole and paint the duct tape." "Sounds good." Hahaha, what a dumb bitch.
Zeroevadee (2012-07-27 01:07:32)
Wow, this one has to be my favorite, feel bad for that guy though :brofist:

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