From Alex Mcgob to ***********@***********.org
Hey! I am interested in renting your place, it sounds awesome! I can pay straight cash every month. Just don't ask where it comes from.

A little bit about myself, I am 22, and love having fun! I saw you are avid movie watchers, which is great because I have a large collection of pornography. I don't really like cleaning, so I will expect people to clean after me. I have 5 german shepherds, but don't worry, they are cool. I have a habit of eating any food I find, but I'll try to restock the fridge with tap water at least once a week. I love playing the bagpipes, and I usually play them every night for a few hours.

Now I just wanted to let you know, I am a bit of an alcoholic. I drink every night until I black out and am often loud and obnoxious. I don't have a car because I am currently sorting out my 3rd DUI, so is it cool if I borrow a car if I need to run to the liquor store or something? I'll make sure I put some gas in it.

Some people have complained that I don't shower, but my minor odor is nothing compared to the amount of money you will be saving on water.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks,

Alex

From Heather ******** to Me

are u fuckin crazy?! 5 german sheparts and u play the fuckin bagpipe? you must be out of your fucking mind. NO!