Innovative Baby Products
Posted at: 2010-05-19 00:11:41
LARGE CRIB WANTED
I need a large(tall) crib for my 9 month old. The crib I have right now is too small - he keeps climbing out! I need a crib that is too high for my baby to get out of it. Please respond with pictures. Contact Julia @ ********@verizon.net
From Me to ********@verizon.net:
I may have the perfect crib for you. It is a very large crib that has some features to prevent your baby from escaping. Please let me know if you are interested.
From Julia ******** to Me:
How big is it? Do you have any pictures of it?
From Me to Julia ********:
It is very large. As I said, it has modifications to prevent escape. The entire top perimeter of the crib has been reinforced with a metal frame that is connected to a car battery. When someone tries to escape the crib, they will be given a gentile electric shock, which will discourage them from attempting to climb out of the crib again. The price includes a 12 volt car battery, but a higher-voltage battery can always be purchased, depending on how fat your child is. Here is a picture of the setup:
I am currently using the crib for one of my friends who happens to be a midget. He tends to frequently get drunk and violent, so we put him in this crib when he starts getting belligerent. The battery works great for keeping him in, so I am assuming it will work great for your child. The only reason I am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested for arson, so he won't be around for a while.
I have something else that you may be interested in as well. Are you tired of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your baby crying? With this clever device, you won't even have to get out of bed to calm your baby.
It is a little mobile that I invented called "The Lullibinator." Simply hang it above the crib, and the microphone will detect when the baby is crying. If the crying reaches a certain decibel level, the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray into the crib. It trains your baby not to cry in no time! It worked great on the midget when he started yelling. It comes with 2% CS pepper spray, which is practically harmless. It can be upgraded to bear mace if your child continues to cry. I have decorated the Lullibinator with friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby.
I am asking $50 for the Lullibinator, and $250 for the crib/battery combo. Let me know if you want to set up a time to stop by and check this stuff out.
From Julia ******** to Me:
Oh my god
From Julia ******** to Me:
Please tell me you're kidding. You're kidding, right?
From Me to Julia ********:
Why would I be kidding? I thought $250 was more than reasonable. I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away. I still do whenever the midget comes over.
From Julia ******** to Me:
I...don't know what to say to you. You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. How dare you ever think that I would use this for my child. Don't you ever e-mail me again, you scumbag.
From Me to Julia ********:
I've been called some harsh things for my haggling tactics, but you seem to have been very offended by the price I have offered. I am sorry; I had no intention of offending you. I will drop the total price to $200 for everything, and I'll even throw this in for free:
Now you won't have to get up to give your baby a bottle when he is thirsty. This handy crib-bottle will allow your baby to quench his thirst any time he wants. It doesn't have to necessarily be filled with tequila (like I said, this crib was set up for a midget). It can easily be filled with Gatorade, breast milk, or whatever else your baby prefers. Throw in a can of food and the baby can practically live on his own!
Please let me know when you are going to pick this stuff up. I am going to Atlantic City for the weekend, so I need you to get it before I leave.
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If the crying reaches a certain decibel level, the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray into the crib....
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Good thing he decorated"The Lullibinator" with that friendly smile :)
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By making such a blanket generalization, you're acting as though there aren't any morons in whatever country you're from. I assure you, there's at least one . . . just look in the mirror! :D
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"I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away"
... Oh. Well then, I'll come get it tomorrow.
This is one of your best, dude. xD
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She's hardly a bitch for trying to protect her child. Still hilarious, though!
anonymous (2012-04-22 01:06:13)
izzz (2012-03-24 13:57:31)
haha the bitch never replied back xD
dudes mum (2012-03-24 07:00:19)
dudes mum (2012-03-24 06:59:02)
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ric (2012-03-16 14:25:10)
little more forceful, like a taser.
ric (2012-03-16 14:24:30)
i'll give you $2.00 for the bottle if anything's left in it. as for the crib, can it be converted into a dog kennel? if so, SOLD! i'll give you another $50.00 for it. Sorry about the pepper spray rig though...I was looking for something a
anonymous (2012-03-14 19:47:07)
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and the firefly references
samantha (2012-03-13 20:56:20)
"A calming mist of pepper spray" I laughed so hard
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anonymous (2012-02-28 11:42:05)
All the replies sound the same. These replies are clearly written by you. Get's boring after while.
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Arson. The little man loved fire.
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Skeptics (2012-01-27 17:08:35)
Have obviously never been on Craigslist
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What exactly is a gentile electric shock? Is there a semite equivalent?
nigger nigger nigger (2012-01-17 15:39:19)
cap'n stab'n is a black gay midget who does not liek this crib either. damn niggers
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Sure -- all "faaaaake" as you say, because it's quite obvious this guy is posting these daily and begging you to read them, eh? Have you ever trolled the internet, craigslist, your mom? The responses generally are all the same unfortunately.
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I agree with Cheezus..........FAKE
Cheezus (2012-01-13 13:26:43)
You guys ever notice how the Craigslist people's responses are all ver similar? An elaborate ruse...
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God! Americans are so stupid.. I honestly don't think anybody could be trolled this bad.. But then again anything is possible....
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I can't stop laughing, drunken midget arsonist..
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Arrested for arson ! bahahahahahaha
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lol. Marshall amps are shitty in general.
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Is that shit still for sale? ROTFLMAO, i have a midget friend i may have to use that on!!!!
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Did someone say bear mace?
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Wood cannot is not a very nice conductor.
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That lady has no sense of humor
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loved the smiley face drawn on the pepper spray dispenser, like that's gonna make it look like a child's toy :D
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I'd take it (2011-09-06 06:21:33)
I mean, come on, how hard would it be to remove the car battery?
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I'm getting weird looks for how hard I'm laughing right now. Thanks bud!
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Bob Saggett (2011-07-25 01:08:48)
Your are an inspiration to me as a human being.
Anonymous (2011-07-23 17:57:00)
You, my friend, are doing it for the lulz. And the lulz loves you so.
ScottZnk (2011-07-20 10:44:21)
HAHA my hero ;)
@Stan (2011-07-19 23:20:58)
I'm guessing next you're going to point out there's no trigger for the pepper spray huh?
Learn to laugh a little dude.
anonymous (2011-07-19 05:23:50)
lmao, thats just wrong...
TK (2011-07-17 17:10:49)
Hilarious, although CS isn't pepper spray.
Finn Solomon (2011-07-16 14:17:10)
Wait wait wait, a midget arrested for arson...is that a Firefly reference?
Yannick (2011-07-13 23:40:52)
@ Stan (2011-07-12 23:33:22)
Thank you for pointing out the obvious.
randi (2011-07-12 23:24:26)
my mom and I laughed about this shit for quite some time! Keep up the good work! Hahaha
Stan (2011-07-06 15:44:28)
The way those jumper cables are hooked up, they would short out the battery and nothing would happen.
melsmell (2011-06-28 20:16:20)
random (2011-06-28 10:02:41)
so awesome and funny! how do you come up with this!?!??!
ANONYMOUS (2011-06-23 22:52:29)
Man,YOUR A COMIC GENIOUS!!! Hilarious!!! I have not laughed this hard in a while. How do you come up with these sick ideas!
Mindee (2011-06-21 03:29:10)
..calming mist of pepper spray!! Hahahaaaaa
FunnyHprse (2011-06-17 11:37:37)
I havent laughed this hard for 20 years!!!!!
Best material ever!!!!
Alex (2011-06-15 13:18:02)
I lost it when I saw the pic.
Erin (2011-06-14 21:27:56)
I have decorated the Lullibinator with friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby. LOL
Bob Saget (2011-06-12 16:38:22)
LOL A "calming" mist of pepper spray
CJ (2011-06-01 17:29:13)
Top rated worthy!!
Caitlin Dube (2011-05-28 16:37:32)
Holy fuck you are amazing. I love this lmao!
Spaz (2011-05-27 18:54:48)
"youre kidding me right", nope hes completely serious about shocking your child with a car battery
anonymous (2011-05-26 00:36:16)
Where was that takillya when i was a baby
Alberto (2011-05-22 06:07:12)
This is true genius!!! I can't stop laughing... thanks man!!
Thor (2011-05-21 18:58:08)
"A calming mist of pepper spray"... hilarious.
great (2011-05-14 03:50:22)
hahaha. "...depending on how fat your baby is"
jewdasmcpriestly (2011-05-13 14:20:56)
I wanna make a baby just so i can buy that
anonymous (2011-05-04 17:46:39)
Just the type of humor I like. Loved the way you expanded the joke with the midget friend. The photos are good too. Truly genious! :D
haha (2011-05-01 16:16:11)
yer a pure funny bastat so ye r
48 & Appreciative (2011-04-30 10:17:11)
Needs to be in Top Rated. Hilarious! Thanks.
Chuck (2011-04-22 16:53:25)
What are "Gentile" electric shocks??
im crying from laughter!
dave (2011-04-19 22:59:11)
i love that you can replacr the mase with bear mase...lol
monster hospital (2011-04-12 21:55:47)
sweet jesus take the wheel
socs (2011-04-08 14:21:05)
like the Marshall Cabinet in the BG!
thefaggotbloghopper (2011-04-07 01:28:01)
my jaw fucking hurts and i just wiped saliva off my keyboard.
anonymous (2011-04-06 17:52:30)
fucking epic man!!!!Keep going!
legallyblonde (2011-04-02 19:02:19)
take me now john
Aislygn (2011-04-02 01:52:21)
Dear lord. "The only reason I am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested for arson, so he won't be around for a while." And all I could think of was Juble Early.
First time caller, (2011-04-01 21:10:46)
Kudos to you sir, kudos.
Seriously, I don't ever reply to shit on the internet, but this is gold.
RitzRubble (2011-03-31 21:46:18)
Thank you for the Firefly references. Made my day.
narisha (2011-03-31 16:37:52)
U are a perfect definition of a genious. This is just 2 funny.
story (2011-03-30 00:47:55)
you did it again. another pair of boxers soiled
Oetti (2011-03-29 20:29:58)
ROFL @ If your baby continues to cry, you can upgrade the pepper spray to bear spray. LOL
Anteezy (2011-03-29 14:17:13)
This is my favorite one, the smiley face cracked me up.
Awesome (2011-03-26 04:25:56)
Hahahahahaha Best one on the site so far
Am I weird for having read the entire thing in Ilya Kovalchuk's voice and accent?
CazSpaz (2011-03-26 00:56:27)
What really got me laughing was the happy face on the pepper spray XD
penishug (2011-03-24 17:33:22)
anonymous (2011-03-22 18:51:27)
Honestly (2011-03-22 16:47:21)
if this thing is legit and so is the price... then im willing to buy it. no joke.
gjones (2011-03-22 07:59:12)
so wrong, and so fucking brilliant!
Chrispy (2011-03-21 03:42:28)
Shock collar would work too
Brymhild (2011-03-17 00:44:34)
Will you marry me?
jackson (2011-03-15 19:42:33)
laughed for ten mins
jackson (2011-03-15 19:41:53)
Scoobz (2011-03-15 19:26:22)
This I love these things, keep doing what you do. You make a day at the office worth while. A pass time. Hilarious!!
jenny (2011-03-09 18:07:27)
ha ha aha all these great inventions hilarious
Julia (2011-03-08 06:01:38)
A calming mist of pepper spray lol. tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and from the pepper spray lol.
bad girl (2011-03-02 16:23:23)
Can I have one for my baby ex-husband? he never grew up... so he may need it!
llz (2011-02-28 14:35:42)
lol, i still think disguised weapons was better. the pictures, omg, quality shit
anonymous (2011-02-25 19:55:16)
hhmm im thinking this is just right for my mother inlaw
Cow goes moo (2011-02-23 17:30:21)
I ussally love your work but this...this one did not make me laugh...or smile.
Who am I kiding. I pissed myself XD
Troll (2011-02-20 21:40:23)
dryaridnod (2011-02-20 14:34:33)
Your imagination runs wilder sober than anyone I've ever seen drunk. Most clever and comically diabolical stuff I've seen in years. Simply brilliant.
Sly (2011-02-18 02:54:06)
looove the way your mind works!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
sean (2011-02-16 23:06:38)
people around me are laughing because I am laughing so hard
Spongebob (2011-02-16 16:23:41)
LOL ONE OF THE BESTS I EVER SEEN...
Cinderhella (2011-02-15 18:47:29)
I think I might love you.
The Father (2011-02-15 02:37:11)
Mi wife would be so mad at me if she knew I found this so hilarious. I laugh so much I cried.
anonymous (2011-02-11 19:12:45)
Got one teenager size?
anonymous (2011-02-03 15:06:35)
This guy is a thinker and a doer
AssassinMary (2011-02-03 10:36:16)
Love the Tequila and pepper spray idea! And the battery can be changed to an Interstate type with More cold cranking amps! Keep the good work LOL
test (2011-01-31 05:07:00)
Alf is Real (2011-01-27 08:06:34)
OMG...Mike Please mercy, mercy, The Cuervo in the crib with the bear looking on is to much,,You're going to give me a stroke I'm laughing so hard.
to izzy (2011-01-26 16:36:18)
your gay and fat
Blarg (2011-01-23 13:50:08)
Izzy (2011-01-21 00:29:55)
for some fucking reason it didn't show my whole post..
Izzy (2011-01-21 00:28:46)
To the dude that wants to commit suicide. If you commit suicide you will be remembered as a weak person that wants to get an easy way out of feeling pain. Plus you will go to hell for eternity even if you don't believe in God why take the chance? I do
drfeelgood (2011-01-20 20:27:34)
this is one of the best! I was contemplating suicide tonite but you changed my mind.prozac made me lose my libido,made me fat.you cured me!
Antonio (2011-01-20 13:00:13)
Haha hell yea I love this guy
mikeyintheoc (2011-01-16 18:40:24)
I have one just like it
Craig (2011-01-14 15:49:10)
I laugh so hard at these that I choke. This guy is great.
Amelia (2011-01-12 02:21:27)
I really want someone to reply to the guy's e-mail saying "Yes. This is perfect for my baby!! I'll take it!!!" Counter-asshole :)
Charmed One (2011-01-09 13:20:35)
Oh my, this dude is funny as hell! My son bought me his book & I read it...he is damn funny! I love the book & website!!
Paula (2011-01-07 17:16:59)
ROFL these are torture devices hahaahahahahaha
kgizzle (2011-01-06 18:35:32)
dude ur awesome
Marlena (2011-01-04 02:58:29)
You are seriously one of the funniest fucking people on this planet. Thank you for being an asshole. You make me smile.
Deen (2011-01-03 18:53:06)
Bet you some ding dong tries this
LaurLaur (2011-01-03 02:22:13)
Bahahahahahaha! I just discovered this site while going through a rough personal time and it has made me feel about a million times better. SO FUNNY! How can people actually think these e-mails are serious? HILARIOUS!
Blob (2011-01-02 01:55:58)
Abby (2011-01-01 16:14:01)
HAHAHAHA. This is so GREAT!
Ack (2010-12-30 19:58:39)
OMFG!! So fucking funny.
bla (2010-12-23 21:06:30)
why are people such jerks to him i would die from laughing if i saw one of these
Kevin (2010-12-16 06:53:33)
Dude...At 2.30 yesterday I was told my company was gonna go pop! Five hours later I found this website and have not stopped laughing...brilliant
alex (2010-12-15 21:02:53)
shit!....that was hillarious!!!!.OM FUCKING GODD!!!!.....still with it,some day you'll b a good social worker..jajajaa
Mahmood (2010-12-15 06:13:03)
no fukin waaaaaaaay HAhHHAHAHAHAHAHA you are a genius mike... how to come up with this shit hahahahaha.. damn i need a piss
JOE (2010-12-14 02:21:22)
That was funny as hell. I was laughing the whole way.
Sydpart2 (2010-12-12 12:28:46)
You should market this to the moms who leash their children!
anonymous (2010-12-05 17:06:08)
Hahahahahhahahha dude you are a fucking god. "a calming mist of pepper spray" i love this lol
lwkmd (2010-11-30 18:20:46)
ds s so funny
tony (2010-11-24 03:09:31)
Ahahahaha I love that you actually took the time to take pictures of it. Well done.
Just Wondering. (2010-11-21 16:50:14)
A gentile electric shock?
Reid (2010-11-18 14:42:28)
"pieing your pants?" you put pies in your pants?
Reinder (2010-11-18 09:21:15)
Dude, seriously, at almost any story I have to laugh out loud, but at this one I just could not stop for about 30 minutes, I hardly could prevent pieing my pants! Amazingly!
Hahahfattie! (2010-11-13 18:49:35)
My fave part: "depending on how fat your child is" BWAHHAHAAHHAHA
Lola (2010-11-12 19:06:49)
The unwanted proposal of the second device, the smilies. Dude, this is too much! Hahaha
Billsville (2010-11-10 11:36:10)
Man, you are too much! Fuckin' hysterical! I love this site!
amber (2010-11-09 22:00:29)
i just cant believe that the OPs think these are real responses.
Daddy (2010-11-08 22:03:08)
I laughed, I cried, I shit my pants!
johnny (2010-11-04 20:53:58)
we should be friends
johnny (2010-11-04 20:52:51)
we should be friends
Rel (2010-11-03 14:47:54)
"Gentle electric shock..."
Yeah, if you are a horse, cow or other large animal of 1,000 lbs or more.
EROC (2010-11-01 19:55:36)
OMG READING CAPITAL LETTERS STRESSES THE FUCK OUT OF ME BUT THAS WAT EPIC JOKESSSS
anonymous (2010-11-01 19:25:41)
it has to be extreme luck that u found an ad lookin 4 a crib AND actually have a crib to post a photo of. makes it that much funnier, though!!!!!!
Shay (2010-11-01 07:09:40)
That is too fucking hilarious!!!
DorothyW (2010-11-01 02:30:31)
anonymous (2010-10-29 16:09:53)
I think who ever does these emails is either my twin that we were separated at birth or my soul mate. This was so funny I laughed all day.
Chuck (2010-10-28 18:15:22)
I laughed so hard I pee'd a little.
Anya (2010-10-28 14:04:31)
This is like, the funniest shit I've EVER read!!
eclektq (2010-10-25 00:43:09)
Laughed until I was dizzy...............
Nicky (2010-10-24 17:10:22)
This is some funny shit how do u come up with all the shit u talking lolz
eeguy 2 (2010-10-16 17:21:08)
Hey eeguy... A bit anal
hah (2010-10-16 17:15:59)
Midget got arrested for arson. Oh my god lol hahaha
Adrian (2010-10-14 21:46:12)
This should definitely go to "top rated" LMAO.
amir atighehchi (2010-10-14 17:44:04)
Ruffel Mao (2010-10-14 12:02:02)
lmao at the smiley face
I love this! (2010-10-10 22:21:20)
a calming mist of pepper spray
david (2010-10-04 22:07:14)
that is fucking awesome
Sharky (2010-09-29 17:13:48)
CLASSIC and EPIC!
PilotOfTheAirwaves (2010-09-29 10:33:33)
ROTFLMAO! This guy is hilarious!
anonymous (2010-09-29 04:59:57)
He definitely copied Thorne's style.
Scott (2010-09-19 21:35:55)
Dude..U make my day with your emails...Thank u so much... "the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray" LOL..
jon k (2010-09-18 05:42:38)
yea that had me rolling all 3 times i read it. life is always better with a good laugh
Justin (2010-09-17 18:11:15)
"the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray" EPIC.
Dan (2010-09-17 15:34:05)
No Darbin, it's not a real site, it's a con site. Car battery set ups are for amateurs, and could in fact actually be dangerous and possibly a fire hazzard. Charging Ј250 for one should be illegal. Anyone can set up a much cheaper electric crib us
DARBIN (2010-09-16 02:26:49)
IS DIS A REAL SITE OR A JOKE SITE I NEED TO GET A CRIB MY BABBY CANT EXCAPE. SERIOUSLEY, I NEED TAHT CRIB OR 1 LIKE IT MY BABY CLIMES OUT EVERY NITE ITS DRIVIN ME CRAZY!!!!
IF U ARE SERIOUSLEY SELLING THAT CRIB I WILL BY IT FOR $150 DOLLARS. EMAIL ME.
hahaha (2010-09-15 12:10:27)
lmao @ "GENTILE electric shock"
BIFFY SCUMBERFLICK (2010-09-14 00:46:27)
WOW, THANKS FOR THAT WRITE UP ON THE CAR BATTERY ERROR, I COULDNT LAUGH AT THE ACTUAL JOKE TILL THE FINER ELEMENTS OF ATTACHING SPARK PLUGS TO BABY CRIBS DESCRIBED IN THE EMAIL WERE MORE ACCURATELY EXPLAINED
eeguy (2010-09-08 17:42:19)
Just so you know, a 12v battery is pretty worhtless for shocking people. Even in ideal conditions 12v isn't detectable.
Also if the battery was actually connected the battery would probably blow up after welding the cables to that metal bar.
Chairman (2010-09-06 21:59:17)
"The price includes a 12 volt car battery, but a higher-voltage battery can always be purchased, depending on how fat your child is."
"I am currently using the crib for one of my friends who happens to be a midget. He tends to frequently ge
mother of a devil (2010-09-06 00:31:59)
Wow, lol! Can I buy?
xs (2010-09-03 12:29:59)
First time I've laughed till I cried in a long time.
Cam (2010-09-01 21:10:33)
funniest thing ive ever read. you're hilarious
Cam (2010-09-01 21:10:33)
funniest thing ive ever read. you're hilarious
Wanker (2010-08-29 16:59:10)
Must admit ... funny shit it is ye... but not funny enough to get even a giggle out of people with a sense of humour that allready have been there and done that ...
shame .. cant find anything thats funny anuff anymore
emma (2010-08-29 13:19:35)
I have to admit its harsh but I'm not gonna lie it was funnyyyy!!!<3
Anonymous (2010-08-27 21:28:55)
Dude, I wanna Fuck you!!!
I was in tears so bad my nose ran!!
The Sand Man (2010-08-25 18:03:06)
Why Not Just Give The Baby A High Dose Of Ambien CR ...... lmfao ....
Johnny (2010-08-24 19:34:31)
I have not laughed this hard since I was in 7th grade and listening to the Jerkey Boys! Awsome!
dudett fr sweden (2010-08-21 21:39:33)
wow there is no words.... love it :D
Guga (2010-08-18 11:01:05)
dude, i never laugh so hard on my entire life...LMAO
babylover (2010-08-16 03:41:03)
Can i have a bigger smile on my lullibinator??
Grass Lunatic (2010-08-13 09:13:50)
Wow! You have a real problem buddy! That can't be possible, you must a have some kind of schizophrenia or be under an acid diet!...but still...funny LOL!
anonymous (2010-08-13 03:32:25)
Oh man, good one! The arson bit is over the top hilarious.
Anonymous. (2010-08-13 02:58:36)
You are amazing. No other word can describe what you do. You are a magnificient bastard.
T3h0o8er5pAzZ (2010-08-13 02:02:39)
I'd use this. I fucking HATE babies.
Zeepax (2010-08-11 19:20:06)
OMG OMFG funny as always but my favourite is still "deerhunter" that one is epic keep up the good job.
Nate from florida! (2010-08-11 17:01:37)
Mike Your the man! To put these people all on the edge cause u might have what they want or what they need is hilarious. keep it up
Concerned Father (2010-08-09 09:17:15)
Dude, I was laughing so hard I cried. Respect!
Pruane is a faggot (2010-08-09 01:35:02)
Very Funny! Pruane doesn't know shit about mma.
Eh (2010-08-08 06:04:29)
Anything will pass as humor these days.
melvinator (2010-08-07 20:25:19)
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .. people that get offended by you need to grow a sense of humor!
Tristan (2010-08-07 00:22:48)
The only reason I am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested for arson... Epic! I humbly bow to your superior sense of humor.
TOUGH LOVE (2010-08-05 19:38:50)
follow up to last post :KID WILL BOUNCE AROUND AFTER-RECOVERING FROM BECOMING RIGID WITH THE FIRST SHOCK .. LOL THATS TOUGH LOVE ..
TOUGH LOVE (2010-08-05 19:33:25)
JUST HOOK A LAWN MOWER SPARK PLUG WIRE TO THE RAIL CRIB THAT WILL GET THE KID BOUNCING ALL AROUND! OR JUST A OLD HAND CRANK DYNAMO -HOOK IT TO CRIB RAIL --WHEN CHILD IS ALMOST OUT .. SAY DONT DO THAT . THEN JUST GIVE THE DYNAMO A FEW CRANKS LOL HE OR SHE
Concerned Rabbi (2010-08-04 10:12:56)
"Gentile electric shock?" What if the baby is Jewish?
LeshCub (2010-08-04 06:05:50)
Laughing My Fu#@$* A$$ Off!!
Ha ha (2010-08-03 14:40:14)
Had me and my friend laughing like a couple of faggots, awesome site.
Mrss roach (2010-08-02 11:38:27)
your thinf is a chganllnge for little kids
but ps youll never wacth my kids
princess (2010-08-01 12:29:05)
this is the funniest thing i have ever read. i have had a lot of bad stuff happening in my life lately. n this made everything hilarious again! thanx - im back to normal! LOL. funny
Danielle (2010-07-30 00:41:21)
I love the bottle of tequila in the crib. Not ideal for a child but for an adult sounds like the perfect drink for getting relaxed to go to bed.
DevlishMama (2010-07-27 19:32:01)
So yea, lol, u should totally e-mail me, dude. I need someone to watch my kids while I go have a tenacious kidney stone removed. You up for the job?
DL (2010-07-27 18:07:11)
ok, question. She wouldn't use this stuff for HER child, would she use it for someone else's?
jokkerL27H (2010-07-27 14:26:06)
lmoa almost makes me wanna have kids again
LiliumLE (2010-07-26 17:46:53)
i can only say i've been ROFL... FTW
student (2010-07-26 11:52:28)
I just have to say, I was reading this one in class, and I burst out laughing and looked like an idiot. awesome!
Jimmy (2010-07-25 12:23:34)
Haha oh my god, it's been a long time since I laughed this hard. Oh I can't describe which parts I love the most, still laughing my ass off. Kudos!
anonymous (2010-07-21 05:15:15)
LMFAO!!! Love the charming 'smart-ass' replies... my condolences to the midget...
solucky.nolove (2010-07-20 23:43:49)
AAAH this is the first time iv laughed this hard since....ever!
this is freaking amazing
honey (2010-07-19 18:34:36)
can't stand it - first time i have ever laughed
Alex (2010-07-19 18:32:12)
I laughed so hard I threw up...seriously
Early (2010-07-18 22:13:32)
That must have been one deadly and unpredictable midget, but i guess when the lil man luuved fire enough for charges, you got to keep him locked up somewhere
ashley (2010-07-18 10:36:14)
hey guys his isn't funny my parents used this on me when i was a baby and it really works!!! If you put tequila in the bottle it helps with the crying as well. When feeding baby they tend to like peanuts in the shell and kettle corn. Use a heavy dish
Shabby (2010-07-17 15:06:59)
Niice I need one man sized so I could trap all my drunk friends who steal my beer.
Badger (2010-07-17 13:43:37)
Everlast Battery?! is He kidding!? That could never hold a violent midget in! NEVER!
Stu (2010-07-15 20:17:58)
Genius :) nice job
rtret (2010-07-14 17:25:48)
Lmao this guys gonna get picked up by some corporate suits eventually. Ingenius
graham (2010-07-14 02:26:15)
Let me guess- this gentile shock is actually the baby realizing there is no god? I guess fatter baby's just need more convincing, via DC current that is. :)
shitmypants (2010-07-14 01:57:04)
Dude ,That is some of the funniest shit I have ever read, I can't even breathe any more. I stumbled on your concealed weapon, went on to carpet, its been hours and I can't quit yet.
Sooze (2010-07-13 18:27:08)
lmfao...oh... i cant breathe.. the crib... i want it...
ryno21 (2010-07-13 11:59:12)
dude your shits real funny keep going
FB-Layout (2010-07-12 23:24:10)
great post dude ….. keep going!
shawn (2010-07-12 19:23:56)
Azmat (2010-07-12 12:45:34)
mate u forgot marijuana?
ibyabyg (2010-07-12 07:11:32)
One of the best ever.
Uuuuuuuuh (2010-07-12 04:10:21)
That sucks, I got it for 300 for an airplanE battery >:)
Syd1211 (2010-07-12 00:10:06)
That was the funniest thing I have ever read in my life!!! Hands down, I was crying so hard!!! Loved it, keep it up!
anthonyjperri (2010-07-11 05:17:20)
YOUR A COMIC GENIUS
pot (2010-07-08 22:09:56)
LMAO im crying this shit is so funny
hahahahaahahah (2010-07-08 20:32:39)
omg you are so ridiculous I hope you make it big
tastybluecrayon (2010-07-08 01:34:15)
"I have decorated the Lullibinator with friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby."
nate (2010-07-08 01:13:48)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT WAS SOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!
LMFAO (2010-07-07 23:10:30)
From Julia ******** to Me:
I...don't know what to say to you. You are a disgusting excuse for a human being.
From Me to Julia ********:
"I've been called some harsh things for my haggling tactics, but you seem to have been v
AZN (2010-07-07 10:30:37)
jeje (2010-07-06 13:53:29)
LMAO (2010-07-05 13:43:31)
"It can be upgraded to bear mace if your child continues to cry. "
bung hole (2010-07-01 18:38:39)
Junebug24 (2010-06-30 20:52:06)
Mike I think I love you! hahaha! I slightly pissed myself from laughing but not to worry it happens all the time...I'm used to it! Better go change my panties...
Patch (2010-06-29 22:28:33)
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME AND BEST ON THIS SITE!
Anya (2010-06-29 09:16:43)
haaahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! this is one of the best yet, I love it!
Jethro (2010-06-28 18:46:57)
I'm guuna make me one of those for my kin.
Anniebear (2010-06-28 16:03:55)
As a mom, I was mortified by the crib set-up... But she STILL totally had it coming!
anonymous (2010-06-27 14:34:15)
momma (2010-06-25 13:56:03)
I want one of those tequila thingies!!! :D Hilarious stuff!
Mafia Inc (2010-06-25 09:38:26)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahah wow! The girl had no humour at all!
Gen. David Petraeus (2010-06-24 19:34:06)
shrrr but I agree the white house is screwy
poonpoon (2010-06-24 13:46:05)
The bit about the violent dwaft nearly had me on the floor
Kevin (2010-06-23 15:39:34)
Some of the sickest things are the funniest.Just ask John Waters.This makes me consider reversing my vasectomy.
xbox 360 (2010-06-23 02:16:36)
this is the funniest lmfao
LJ (2010-06-22 03:56:15)
This made me laugh so hard I cried - several times. Amazing.
Roseann (2010-06-21 17:50:11)
Rofl. Definitely one of my favorites.
Arse (2010-06-20 23:05:00)
"calming mist of pepper spray"...haha
Chino (2010-06-20 09:31:26)
JUST sent a copy of that to my father for father's day, thanking him for never using those tools. Hilarious, man.
blaine (2010-06-19 21:47:01)
that wont even get the baby drunk! check out how little there's left in the liquor
Wayne Coyne (2010-06-17 14:52:19)
You sir are a FUCKING BADASS MOTHER! I WANT TO SEE MOAR!!!
san (2010-06-17 00:36:56)
oh my god.. your site always brightens my day every time i visit.. you are the king of trolling!
Veronica Helman (2010-06-16 21:31:04)
OMFG!! That was the funniest shit I have read in a long time. Thank you for that
Eric (2010-06-15 09:29:38)
I love how he pretends to think the woman's main problem with the crib is the price. It's priceless! Pun intended.
Admin (2010-06-15 06:45:53)
Spazclart (2010-06-15 05:21:50)
chdonny (2010-06-15 04:46:07)
Utterly genius. Chdonny Maho.
NiceJob (2010-06-13 11:51:08)
This is fucken awesome ! :D
burps (2010-06-11 14:59:12)
hi hi ha ha ho ho
Errorin (2010-06-11 11:50:01)
She's stupid. You're Funny. Where do I find more?
Fuck you, fake Mike (2010-06-11 07:12:29)
The real Mike only posts as Admin, with his name in red.
Peggy (2010-06-11 04:58:55)
Laughing my *ss off as usual. I love your humor.
fer (2010-06-10 17:50:18)
top 5 of all time. fukin awesome.
RIP (2010-06-10 09:38:04)
He must be dead.
Spanky (2010-06-10 03:09:52)
Ya dude, you're awesome
Scooby (2010-06-09 15:12:58)
Are you in jail or something?
BigFan (2010-06-09 15:08:19)
man please update your website with more of your pranks because we can't continue living without your hilarious emails ;D
Seriously??? (2010-06-09 14:46:34)
You complainers have got to get more going on in your lives. I guarantee John has a fuller life than all of you. Whaaaa whaaa whaaaers.
suckafree (2010-06-09 11:51:19)
I'm guessing he doesn't update too often because it's very rare you get someone dumb enough to follow through on a joke...most people would probably stop replying after they realized they were being had
anonymous (2010-06-09 11:25:21)
this page NEEDS an RSS Feed.
The CC (2010-06-09 11:00:30)
Congratulations on your book. I'm going to link through and buy a copy. And as always, this post had me in tears! TheConstantComplainer.com
rice (2010-06-09 10:01:47)
good, but do you ever update?
Wisdom (2010-06-09 10:00:05)
Fortunate for you this is not how you put bread on the table, I'm not willingly joining the whiners. When I leave for unknown length of time and return to see no updates. Lolly-gagger.
D. O. double G (2010-06-09 06:01:10)
OMFG all this is very funny and shit.. but why there so big gaps between jokes. i mean srsly.. isnt this your main job?
bye (2010-06-09 01:04:04)
p.s i want my $20 donation back
bye (2010-06-09 01:02:37)
i have been a fan since the start i love these but you need to remeber to appese the ones who made you great and you have been decling so this is good bye
Update, you cunt (2010-06-08 18:41:08)
From my cosy cell. (2010-06-08 16:07:49)
Julia should not be allowed to look after anything, let alone a child or a midget like me.
Dave (2010-06-08 11:39:39)
Funniest post of any ever!! Hil-fricking-larious.
nik (2010-06-08 08:26:06)
this guy is second only to david thorne, i think mr. thorne is a little more creative and funny
zoli (2010-06-08 05:09:53)
Haha omfg amazing still waiting on a new one. Anyone buy his book? Best 9bucks I've ever spent..also first book I bought since goosebumps in 5th grade..
Twisted (2010-06-08 02:55:58)
fuck the haters, I love this shit.. been a while since I laughed like that, keep it up
KC (2010-06-08 02:12:36)
Please tell me the arsonist midget is a Firefly reference.
Ken (2010-06-07 19:28:11)
Need new one ASAP
Mr. douche (2010-06-07 18:54:44)
202 comments and no update. Shit man, I'm warning you, I will retire my support. Last warning!!!
MILANIA (2010-06-07 16:01:39)
Post a new one.
How hard is it to be a bitch to someone?
I'm doing it right now.
overkill (2010-06-07 14:51:56)
you went a little overkill right off the bat with this one. Would have preferred you just pitched the crib. The best is when you really have dialogue.
Hem Hem (2010-06-07 12:40:39)
I would like to know what tactics were used on the poster when he was brought up? Shock "therapy"???
Ug/hHHHH (2010-06-07 12:14:17)
POST A NEW ONE YOU ASSWIPE!!! UGHHHH! unless you're dead...then don't worry about posting a new one.. but only if you're dead.
steve (2010-06-07 10:23:28)
make a new fucking email
Jonno (2010-06-07 05:57:16)
Disregard the 'gentle' in my last post. I meant 'calming.'
Jonno (2010-06-07 05:56:24)
I actually lol'd at 'a gentle mist of pepper spray'.
Jкdrek (2010-06-07 03:54:22)
And, you're short circuiting your battery.
Grabmav (2010-06-06 22:09:59)
Fuck bitch update this shit already
Atta muhammed Atta (2010-06-06 20:28:15)
As a lesbian, I find your whole existence revolting
Dan (2010-06-06 15:25:12)
anonymous (2010-06-06 11:27:50)
Real nice job man... extremely funny, funniest thing ive seen in quite a while.
jbis (2010-06-06 03:08:34)
"they will be given a gentile electric shock"
sooo funny! lol. where do you get the stuff for them pics??? lmao
lilvanilla (2010-06-06 01:33:47)
omfg.. had to share dis in da crib..like.. rotflmmao add some similac. or im just sayin
Langston Huges (2010-06-05 19:49:26)
No great poet has ever been afraid of being himself. Continue on John!
Captain Obvious. (2010-06-05 19:22:08)
I would just like to say that you are a true master of trolling. Seriously, keep up the good work! I'll be in the hospital after pulling my diaphragm from laughing so hard!
Brittney (2010-06-05 14:25:43)
Favorite one so far... and Richard Banger yes they do burrow out!
Lars H (2010-06-05 13:26:12)
I nearly shit myself laughing at this one, esp when I noticed the smiley face. I don't know what the trolls are talking about, your posts are getting funnier if anything.
FastFreddie (2010-06-05 12:17:23)
I like boys. Not in a bad way, though.
. (2010-06-05 09:07:58)
Update your site, you bitch.
Goodbye (2010-06-05 02:54:41)
This site has jumped the shark. It used to be funny, now it's overworked and lame. Time to delete this from the bookmarks
lol (2010-06-05 01:49:34)
@ pruane.... wtf, racist? do you even know what that means hahaha
albeezy (2010-06-04 20:53:34)
pruane2forever (2010-06-04 19:51:37)
well this is racist
anonymous (2010-06-04 18:56:28)
another gem. LETS GO FLYERS!
Amanda (2010-06-04 17:53:55)
The bottle is a nice touch. :D Love it.
anonymous (2010-06-04 14:20:28)
"anonymous (2010-06-01 15:20:21)
Either I'm getting smarter or this site is getting dumber. By the second."
the fact that you're wondering how dumb this site is means you're definitely NOT getting smarter.
iamgod (2010-06-04 14:04:10)
man i want one...fucking migets lol
anonymous (2010-06-04 12:15:22)
It was nice when he did this as a hobby rather than a job.
kdid (2010-06-04 09:50:52)
so lets say the battery runs down (active children are not uncommon in my family). Could we use the family auto to give the crib a jump?
DYL (2010-06-03 17:51:20)
Didnt like this one. Sounded to forced.
Ian (2010-06-02 23:53:31)
One of the best adds on here!
Tiff (2010-06-02 21:46:34)
anonymous (2010-06-01 15:20:21)
Either I'm getting smarter or this site is getting dumber. By the second.
dickbutt (2010-06-01 05:24:49)
sitflyr (2010-05-31 11:32:48)
This is one of the best yet! Big props for the adaptations and the mobile. LMAO!!!
Leo (2010-05-30 21:54:52)
BEST EVER - You Da Man !!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha (2010-05-30 21:11:22)
You put a smiley on The Lullibinator. rofl
Michael (2010-05-30 14:01:15)
How can she not know you're joking? Further proof that giving birth causes severe brain damage.
BP Oil Engineer (2010-05-30 10:05:49)
So we were all reading your posts and forgot to check the methane gas and wouldn't you know ba-boom. We will be laughing about this for years.
Oberst Minga Shrooms (2010-05-29 12:37:47)
I would only fill it a 1/4 full. Better to spend the rest on getting wife drunk for some fun. Having had two screamers (boy and girl- both like air raid sirens) I would thoroughly recommend my grandmothe
Oberst Minga (2010-05-29 12:37:08)
Oberst Minga (2010-05-29 12:31:42)
The alcohol bottle is an excellent idea- though I would only fill it a 1/4 full. Better to spend the rest on getting wife drunk for some fun. Having had two screamers (boy and girl- both like air raid sirens) I would th
Consumer (2010-05-29 12:05:09)
Is this the sort of device that lead to the death of Gary Coleman?
@dicktard (2010-05-28 13:12:01)
Cause you are your name. Fucktard.
@dicktard (2010-05-28 13:11:06)
You're name suits you.
Mr. douche (2010-05-28 10:56:14)
If you update in the next 24 hours, I will donate 300 dlls.
dicktard (2010-05-28 06:51:42)
Even though you removed my previous remark, it is still a FAKE. C'mon, you can do better. Renew, improve. If you still need to fool us, do it properly.
eimo (2010-05-27 18:43:02)
This part was hilarious: "I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away."
phil (2010-05-27 02:57:10)
yarrr, this be the crib for my old man, he's 35
Arse Face (2010-05-27 00:42:17)
Mike, do you still have one left? call me 555,15954
Arse Face (2010-05-27 00:42:14)
Mike, do you still have one left? call me 555,15954
Name (2010-05-26 19:05:34)
Where do you get these pictures? Do you actually make these things?
dave (2010-05-26 19:04:26)
this is one of my new favorites - nice work - throwing in the smiley face made me laugh my ass off
doubtful (2010-05-26 14:09:05)
doubtful anyone would even respond to this email, seems made up. too over the top.
Phrozt (2010-05-26 11:16:20)
I actually have that exact crib. I grew up in it and now I use it for my son.
Jason (2010-05-26 06:44:39)
Matt, don't wait, put an ad out there and be the one ur waiting for.
Bonzo (2010-05-26 06:35:19)
The best yet.
kat (2010-05-25 22:54:48)
Yes Please! (2010-05-25 22:49:25)
The tequillia bottle took me over the edge Hahahahaaha
Ankit (2010-05-25 16:50:48)
"Oh my God."
"Throw in a can of food and the baby can practically live on his own!"
matt (2010-05-25 14:59:19)
i am looking forward to the day when someone takes you up on one of these crazy offers and seeing what happens then :)
Rudy (2010-05-25 13:06:39)
Dan (2010-05-25 12:56:50)
OMG so fucking funny! You are amazing!
csakavarnyu (2010-05-25 09:22:54)
adam (2010-05-25 09:04:16)
too funny! wow!
Mian (2010-05-25 00:41:20)
This is EXCELLENT. Perhaps the best ever. My whole office was crying with laughter. Dude, you rock. Thanks!!
Adam (2010-05-25 00:21:04)
Please Keep them coming!
Sam yankeenstein (2010-05-24 23:51:02)
lmao!twake so fat!
@ Diane (2010-05-24 22:44:57)
lulz, why don't you grow a pair? if you don't like this stuff, then gtfo
Mominzed (2010-05-24 20:07:43)
Hahahaha! As soon as I read that the mom was asking for pics... I knew this is gonna be a bomb!
zebra (2010-05-24 17:20:32)
Andy Butt (2010-05-24 17:03:05)
Lmao I love the smiley face.
Sarah (2010-05-24 07:40:35)
eat a bag of dicks. this shit is hilarious.
Babysitter (2010-05-24 04:46:53)
EPIC ! o//
Bitch (2010-05-24 04:21:56)
Shit, this was a really funny one. Keep up the good work!
cali girl (2010-05-24 02:09:35)
I am loving this site. Keep them coming PLEASE!!!! You have the greatest mind!!! You rock!!
cali girl (2010-05-24 01:58:31)
Wow!! This is really funny shit!! Keep them coming PLEASE!!
Moberly, MO (2010-05-24 00:52:24)
It's funny because there is a bunch of harmful things on the crip that aren't for children and she thinks Mike is real.
gassenjunge (2010-05-24 00:46:52)
LOL @ megan's "spawn on the way"
@ mike partlow (2010-05-23 23:44:14)
Nice Marshall cabinet in the background mike
NO (2010-05-23 20:26:26)
No you are not the lady with the ad, GTFO
Diane (2010-05-23 19:09:02)
I am furious.
Diane (2010-05-23 19:08:28)
You guys are so sued. I'm calling the police right now.
Justin (2010-05-23 14:41:40)
Diane, the fact that you fell for this is your fault. When someone sends you an image of a crib with a car battery wired to it you should be able to deduce that they are full of shit. You obviously don't have the brainpower to realize when someone i
HellHole (2010-05-23 09:40:31)
We love this shit! Bring it on!
Good fun :)
Viking (2010-05-23 09:26:54)
When I saw the first picture I cracked up laughing. Thanks!
yes (2010-05-23 06:03:48)
you should add a vaporizer with a little mj for when the baby needs to relax
naggers (2010-05-23 02:55:33)
shit was hella funny! did you really make all those? NICE!
ralphie (2010-05-23 02:13:24)
the smiley face on the lullimator was ghetto-funny!!!...
Ralphie (2010-05-23 02:03:57)
still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes!!!
HHAHAHAHAHHA (2010-05-22 20:50:25)
wow this is fucking hilarious its the first one ive ever read
strangedude (2010-05-22 18:05:32)
Each new post is like a dose of a drug to me. I'm addicted to your website. The funniest thing on the internet, hands down.
Your Mom (2010-05-22 14:49:56)
Shut the fuck up
jenna (2010-05-22 13:33:01)
ahahaha this is so hilarious. i wonder why she wasnt excited lawls
andromeda (2010-05-22 10:37:00)
"...calming mist of pepper spray..." hahahahahahahahaahah
MustangWorlder (2010-05-22 08:30:13)
So, where is the midget? :rofl:
David (2010-05-22 02:10:28)
anonymous (2010-05-21 18:00:17)
you sir are a loss to science! bravo!
bodi (2010-05-21 17:42:36)
dat shit was off the hookz nah mean
funny azz fuckz
buh i be getting drunk all da time anywayz ya digg
Ken Kutaragi (2010-05-21 15:38:25)
Good one, I agree on the comment saying you showed the goods too soon. But still one of the best.
pussy=good (2010-05-21 15:37:41)
One of your best yet! Wish you had kept her on the string a little longer though instead of giving her both at the same time. Let her react to the first one then mention the second one.
Pony (2010-05-21 15:14:49)
I also like that you can see a Marshall amp in the "baby's" room in that last photo.
asdfsadf (2010-05-21 14:22:08)
Some of you people are really retarded. Why the fuck are you trying to over analyze the "battery connected to the crib" thing whether it would really work or not. Who the hell cares? This is a freakin prank website people, not "This Old House.
megan (2010-05-21 12:29:27)
um, pregnant, spawn on the way, do you do a pooh themed baby cage?
soph (2010-05-21 12:27:46)
Princess Di (2010-05-21 12:19:17)
Mike, you are terrible, awful, disgusting... keep them coming, please!
Aloc (2010-05-21 11:07:27)
Hahah, the google ads are working perfectly. All baby related.
Ssquall (2010-05-21 09:38:53)
This line had me cracking up..."I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away. I still do whenever the midget comes over."
phil from Belgium (2010-05-21 07:09:51)
" practically harmless" GOLD!!!
one of the best ever...
synthetik (2010-05-21 04:25:37)
lol @ "calming mist of pepper spray" oh man.. i was rolling.
sillygoose (2010-05-21 00:43:48)
the only thing lacking from this prank is that she smoked it out so quickly. Scumbag in the 2nd 1/2 reply. You can do better but it was damn good. Sublety!
Jade (2010-05-20 22:03:40)
This is hilarious - kkk - get a fucking life would you - there's nothing disgusting about this site - it's all for fun and humor. You can say "it's disgusting and then in the same post say "fuck you all" OKAY....!!!
If you took
tori (2010-05-20 18:52:02)
"I am currently using the crib for one of my friends who happens to be a midget. He tends to frequently get drunk and violent, so we put him in this crib when he starts getting belligerent."
This is awesome! I love it. Had me in tears by the end
Muerte (2010-05-20 16:49:49)
Z (2010-05-20 16:36:55)
"spray a calming mist of pepper spray" mad me lol so fucking hard.
jmw59 (2010-05-20 16:06:11)
calming mist of pepper spray :)
Gorbage (2010-05-20 13:28:39)
One of the best! Great work!
Robert (2010-05-20 13:17:42)
You sir, are a genius!:)
Daniel La Fond (2010-05-20 12:31:55)
Man you need to write for television! Your style of comedy makes me laugh into tears. Ingenious, simply ingenious.
Wisdom (2010-05-20 12:27:10)
I laughed numerous time's. As I often do when I venture here. Truly trailer trash that woman, lol "scumbag". Who uses that anymore?? Trailer Parks. :)
jjrook (2010-05-20 08:35:43)
one of the best yet
bob (2010-05-20 08:28:34)
nagz (2010-05-20 08:03:38)
best ever! :D
w9999999999 (2010-05-20 06:59:43)
I thought he was gonna introduce a friend of his who was a crib or something.
Dutch Oven Guy (2010-05-20 05:00:22)
Hey Mike? I'm gonna give you a dutch oven.
10n (2010-05-20 02:40:38)
1 billion thumbs up for the props you made
weak (2010-05-20 01:21:34)
this one was a little weak.
Michael (2010-05-19 23:13:54)
I don't think that crib setup would work. There is no circuit that would be completed by the baby touching the bar when both battery clamps attached to it. What you should do is replace the bottom of the crib with a metal plate and attach the negati
Zander (2010-05-19 23:04:08)
Megan (2010-05-19 23:02:00)
I think midgets will be offended by this, midgets. Aren't you midgets supposed to say little people?? Midgets.
eeeeeeeeeeee (2010-05-19 22:56:59)
WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK A CAR BATTERY WILL SHOCK THEM??? It's not powerful enough to even shock a baby, 12 volts is barely anything.
Gulf Oil Spill (2010-05-19 22:02:06)
This was a great one...keep it coming!
Adam (2010-05-19 21:50:41)
Oh my god. I thought you were losing your hilarity after the last couple e-mails, but this one is pure fucking gold. Glad to see you're back.
Beau Nuss (2010-05-19 21:26:47)
I love reading this website. It brings me great joy, the type of joy I feel as I'm jamming my meat nozzle into your Mom's shit-hole.
Obama (2010-05-19 20:39:34)
This shit is so funny it made me forget I'm such a terrible president seeing as I'm black and all!
hahaha (2010-05-19 20:24:55)
i liked the bear mace south park reference! :]
yih (2010-05-19 20:09:21)
You are my parenting idol. One day, I hope to even be 10% as awesome as you are with my child. I'm going to seriously consider the car battery trick, it's quite nifty!
anxious (2010-05-19 19:37:08)
best one since disguised weapons.
Meeghan (2010-05-19 16:36:34)
I totally second the "calming mist of pepper spray".
Mordecai (2010-05-19 16:27:14)
A Gentile electric shock? Is that how you make a shiksa-bob?
Will that discourage a Jewish baby from climbing?
ilovetofu (2010-05-19 16:15:27)
"a calming mist of pepper spray" - GOLD!
Loves it (2010-05-19 15:53:04)
HAHAHA THE PICTURES ARE THE SHIT! I LOVE THIS!!!!
Scrotie McBoogerball (2010-05-19 15:48:52)
Ron White (2010-05-19 15:46:19)
HAHAHAHA! Hey 'mike' - you should join us on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, the offer is there. Just call me and we will get your salary worked out. love ya.
Ron White (2010-05-19 15:46:00)
HAHAHAHA! Hey 'mike' - you should join us on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, the offer is there. Just call me and we will get your salary worked out. love ya.
Ron White (2010-05-19 15:45:57)
HAHAHAHA! Hey 'mike' - you should join us on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, the offer is there. Just call me and we will get your salary worked out. love ya.
NotJulia (2010-05-19 14:31:12)
I want one!
Bort (2010-05-19 14:08:23)
Good one, but you revealed your hand too soon.
Brit (2010-05-19 13:51:06)
Very good. A stronger battery if your baby is fat. I love it:-)
larf (2010-05-19 12:51:19)
Anon (2010-05-19 12:43:11)
Any use of photographs always makes for a classic post, well done.
PharaohNYC (2010-05-19 12:15:15)
Ahahaha (2010-05-19 12:12:19)
The baby adds this one generates crack me up.
waller14 (2010-05-19 12:09:29)
Are you correcting their grammar?!
Laughingmyassoff (2010-05-19 12:06:39)
The stuffed toys in the crib were a nice touch! :)
CM (2010-05-19 12:06:26)
I don't know if you intended it, but that midget arsonist is a great Firefly reference. :)
Ben (2010-05-19 11:52:07)
Awesome...and to anybody who criticizes or tells you how to setup the gags on these posts, Shut up! Its not like yoo're paying for this...its free humor (and quite well done!).
yanko (2010-05-19 11:51:59)
by the way: my name is yanko!
yanko (2010-05-19 11:51:28)
this one was the weakest to date. Too over the top.
Stacie (2010-05-19 11:49:11)
I'm thinking this would work on my Chihuahua when we have to leave her at home. Hmmmm.....
Dave (2010-05-19 11:48:58)
Epic lol I love coming to this site and seeing updates :) you rock
Clint (2010-05-19 11:48:45)
"How big is it? Do you have any pictures of it?" :D
HAHAHAHAHA! (2010-05-19 11:45:05)
Love the crib bottle!!!
Cam (2010-05-19 11:44:30)
SweetTamale (2010-05-19 11:37:37)
I feel bad for the midget...he's going to miss that cool crib. :(
Di (2010-05-19 11:36:05)
Please update more often!!
amanda (2010-05-19 11:35:42)
I'm Jewish, will my baby still benefit from the effects of the gentile electric shock?
rofl (2010-05-19 11:28:18)
i love the introduction of "The Lullibinator" like it's an infomercial.
not (2010-05-19 11:24:26)
funny at all
JayZeus (2010-05-19 11:20:05)
I love these...all of them. They are so funny! Always makes my day when you post a new one!
dillon (2010-05-19 11:06:48)
Julia's Response: "Oh my God"....classic
G33ksquared (2010-05-19 11:02:37)
the "lullibinator". Bahahahahaha. :'D
Thanks for the giggles Mike!
ITS OK (2010-05-19 10:48:02)
mattyice (2010-05-19 10:38:03)
Originally, I thought this was the dumbest one yet... until the girl actually believed him. Brilliant work.
Dubank (2010-05-19 09:50:22)
U THE MAN ! Found out about this site very recently ... My entire family is hooked to this series now .. Cheers from India
Wyatt Nurple (2010-05-19 09:33:30)
This one was ok...It's very hard to believe anyone actually bought this response to thier add though. I like the subtle approach better. This one still had it's moments though..."The price includes a 12 volt car battery, but a higher-voltage b
Michael (2010-05-19 09:16:45)
OmY so funny! I roflol'd when you started about the midget >< keep up the good work,
greeting from the netherlands
EricElvis (2010-05-19 09:12:24)
Wow, I agree this is the best since Disguised Weapons. I think it would have been funnier if the whole midget side story was out - then you'd seem like you were off your fucking rocker.
T (2010-05-19 08:54:41)
Funny. I like some of your earlier projects better. More subtle. Don't try to build on audacity.
Grumpy (2010-05-19 08:26:47)
Haha good God how long does it take to make these things for your pictures?
Justin Beiber (2010-05-19 08:12:14)
OMGAD MY VAGAINA IS BLEEDING!
vins18 (2010-05-19 07:56:15)
holy shit!that was hilarious!best 1 ive ever!keep 'em coming!LMAO
Dutch Guy (2010-05-19 07:08:26)
I need not tell you this is hilarious shit, but i have to do so anyway:
THIS IS HILARIOUS SHIT!
"a calming mist of pepper spray".......
Dude - go get an Oscar!
@hmmm (2010-05-19 05:37:32)
it's making it better you are actually critiquing his work. i take it you probably commented on the glock in the cup..... yes im still thirsty for vengeance
ineedabmwx5 (2010-05-19 04:45:29)
hahaha, that smiley face, hahaha. "Throw in a can of food and the baby can practically live on his own!" This is hilarious!!! One of your best! Keep them coming with pictures
soporific (2010-05-19 04:42:15)
what Vinnox said ... more stories about offers of ridiculous-home-made-products-that-are-like-to-offend-the-recipient please, you seem to be on a winner with this format :D ... i nearly wet myself with the freebie offer at the end, u crafted this one extr
Mr. white (2010-05-19 03:05:17)
Thats some funny shit !! one of your better ones to date
Hmmm (2010-05-19 02:43:27)
Shes stupid, the battery is clearly a dead short and duct tape on a mic isnt going to depress the mace button.
Vinnox (2010-05-19 02:17:29)
Best one after Disguised Weapons. Laughed so hard that my colleague got pregnant.
Jacob Lehrmann (2010-05-19 02:06:43)
Awesome one, gave me a good laugh xD
Marty (2010-05-19 01:53:36)
Thanks for such a quick update. I laughed out loud when I saw the tequila bottle. Gotta agree with Sam on this one... it wasn't pulled off with the subtle finesse as your best ones, but still... funny shit!
lulzpower (2010-05-19 01:51:30)
HAHA WOW. One of the better pranks! Keep it coming.
Butt (2010-05-19 01:01:17)
Butthole (2010-05-19 00:44:22)
Holy penis! That was funny.
Sam (2010-05-19 00:40:31)
You're trying too hard, Mike. You need to lure them in, and hit them with the A-material after you've gotten them 'hooked'. Funny concept, though.
Richard Banger (2010-05-19 00:31:15)
Are you still selling this? My fiance is a midget and I need a place to keep her while I'm out at work. I normally keep her locked in the closet but I'm afraid she'll burrow out as that's what midgets do, right?
Epic (2010-05-19 00:28:10)
lindsey (2010-05-19 00:26:03)
So funny! Loved the bottle filled with tequila. One of your best ones yet!
Chester (2010-05-19 00:25:50)
I love that you suggested Gatorade for the baby
Ashkat13 (2010-05-19 00:24:01)
LOL so funny!
crack (2010-05-19 00:19:59)
And while you're at it, why not add an entertainment system?
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