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Garage Sale Competition
Posted at: 2010-04-16 12:39:42
Original ad:
Garage sale on Saturday April 17th from 10 am to 4 pm. Lots of clothes, furniture, electronics, and more. The address is 341 ********* Drive. Email me if you need directions.

Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it.
From Me to ***********@**********.org:

Hello,

I live a few blocks away from you and couldn't help but notice you are having a garage sale this Saturday. I am going to have to kindly ask you to change the date of your garage sale. I am having my annual world class garage sale on that day, and I do not want you to take away any of the customers that would be coming to my garage sale.

If you could hold your garage sale some time during May or June, that would be great.

Thanks,

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

I'm not changing the date. There is plenty of room for both of our garage sales.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

There is not enough room for both of our garage sales. As I said earlier, my garage sale is a "world class" event. It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region. I have already booked a bartender and a string quartet for my sale on Saturday. My garage sale is a classy experience, and I do not want that experience to be ruined for customers who mistake your garage sale for mine. Now I'm not saying your garage sale isn't going to be nice, but I highly doubt you have a bartender and string quartet at your sale.

Please take down all of the ads in the neighborhood for your sale to avoid any confusion for my customers.

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

How rude of you to even make this request. I have the right to have a garage sale when ever I want to. What gives you the nerve to think you can tell me what to do?

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

You are correct, you do have the right to do whatever you want. I realize that I cannot change your mind about this.

I can, however, put up this ad all over the neighborhood. Let me know what you think of it:



Best,

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me:

What the hell is the matter with you? I swear if I see any of those ads in the neighborhood I will tear them down and report you. Do not speak to me again about this. You have been warned.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen

I'm willing to cut you a deal and get you a spot on the guest list for my world class garage sale if you cancel yours.

Mike

From Karen ******* to Me:

Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick.
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I was laughing so hard wen I saw the ad
Smoke Pot and Die (2013-10-04 16:33:52)
Only Democrats have garage sales.
TheJack (2013-09-12 17:42:27)
ROFL? Yep! I read this stuff in a public library.
I'm a Llama. (2013-07-26 04:02:14)
Hahaha! The fact that you decorated the ad with blood is spot on hilarious! Thanks for murdering my sides in the middle of the night. :D
matt batt (2013-06-02 09:33:02)
Why didn't you continue? :0
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Made me laugh!
yo momma (2013-04-02 12:27:53)
Mike, that's got to be on of the better ones!
Tyrone Biggums (2013-03-21 08:18:34)
Steamrollers and Crack... A winning combination baby!
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I'm glad I was taking a shit while reading this otherwise I would have shat everywhere
lol (2012-10-14 23:47:48)
CMS thanks for the laugh, i got the reference XD
CMS (2012-09-09 23:24:12)
Was she trying to sell a white microwave at her garage sale?? :)
lol (2012-09-04 00:52:57)
World class prick, that's actually a good comeback :D
ISLAMISSHIT (2012-08-28 01:34:37)
OH MAN I ALMOST SHIT MYSELF LAGHING AT THE SIGN HE MADE
judge fudge man (2012-08-21 02:47:53)
that sign made made me laugh my ass of
LikesSimplicity (2012-07-27 20:07:44)
Short and simple, yet funny !
Me (2012-07-21 13:25:55)
| | v what the...v
Tommy (2012-07-19 17:15:10)
ROFL
van (2012-07-16 13:05:04)
"Best," BWAAAA HA HA HA! This stuff is just the bestest alright
Dan West (2012-07-09 09:10:31)
I must confess, I have seen Rebecca Vanston naked and now I am legally blind.
Karen (2012-07-05 15:40:17)
:-(
Mike (2012-07-04 01:52:20)
Karen was a bitch
Good reply heh (2012-06-25 10:17:08)
"Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick." well played, Karen, haha
lia (2012-06-25 07:46:04)
i peed my pants laughing
Tom (2012-06-21 12:10:17)
This stuff makes me laugh till i cry. If you can't see humor in it, then there's something wrong with you
Josh (2012-06-20 17:05:04)
I gotta say, although mildly entertaining, your sense of humor is disturbing.
Uncle Dolan (2012-06-19 10:33:59)
Actually was Dolan
Karren Flatten (2012-06-19 09:38:25)
Actually it was six children.
Cali Marretti (2012-06-17 23:35:20)
My 1st time on your site! LMFAO! I think I am in love!! If the men in SoCal were even half as witty as you, I would be a much happier woman!!! Thanks for renewing my hope & putting a sinister little grin on my face!
anonymous (2012-06-02 07:43:41)
@ White guy you're obviously not white you fucking niggerloving jew
White Guy (2012-05-12 14:49:53)
This is White Guy Dylan saying "FUCK NICK AND DAVID" =D
Nick Ghers (2012-05-09 19:12:20)
David, I couldnt agree more.
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World Class Prick (2012-04-09 04:54:36)
I didn't know there were garage sale connoisseurs. LOL
Blacks Everywhere (2012-03-21 14:34:08)
@David Davidson you are an ASS.
Ian (2012-02-28 09:07:32)
@David Davidson - you are worthless. That's all. and @admirer - we noticed...
David Davidson (2012-02-25 03:55:13)
Niggers should still be slaves. They are worthless.
nick (2012-02-10 09:01:25)
this is the greatest website ever, i started laughing out loud in the middle of my bio class when i read the crack cocaine sign. keep up the good work, mike
NO FUCKING WAY (2012-02-07 23:39:01)
the sign makes this entire email so funny
Stevie (2012-02-05 07:18:47)
The address is Lexington, Kentucky. 341 Northwood Drve.
cherrrieee (2012-01-26 17:13:09)
LOL at "string quartet!"
Haozhou (2012-01-04 22:13:22)
OMG F-ING AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i LAUGHED SOOO HARD
Jiggaboo Jones (2011-12-20 21:08:38)
This is the funniest shit I have ever seen.....
jeff binkowski (2011-12-10 17:05:19)
steam roller ,crack cocaine lol
Sam I am (2011-11-04 16:08:39)
Funny thing is that those adds would probably drive more people to his garage sale
Josh (2011-10-12 23:56:57)
Fantastic! LOL
Denno (2011-10-11 16:01:41)
Gold. Absolute Gold!!
Jer (2011-09-30 12:01:28)
I love you
WorldClassCommenter (2011-09-27 19:31:35)
As JC said, this should be in Top Rated along with Comanche Quest, both are my top favorites.
admirer (2011-09-06 19:15:32)
I am i tears. I can barely writte.......
Yasu (2011-09-03 04:13:42)
Mike is world-class :D
someone (2011-08-27 11:21:16)
i want to see them get in a bare nuckle fist fight over whos garage sale is better and i dont mean ur grandmothers fist fight i mean full on fight club fist fight
Tina (2011-08-18 01:51:46)
This has me almost throwing up From laughing so hard
dave (2011-08-12 14:54:14)
Her final reply is great too!
dave (2011-08-12 14:54:14)
Her final reply is great too!
Jim (2011-07-30 16:57:23)
m8 u r sik
newbie (2011-07-24 22:00:42)
hahahahahha!!!! ur so rite, she did deserve it!!! lol...good one!!
Aardvark (2011-07-24 12:35:13)
I've read this 70 times, the first time in January, and it STILL makes me laugh
Who do you think? (2011-07-22 20:31:21)
In 1997 Karen killed five babies while operating a steam roller under the influence of crack cocaine.
Dragonclaws (2011-07-16 03:38:15)
I think this site killed me.
Seadrift (2011-07-15 14:12:25)
"Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it." Knew shit would get good after this, hilarious
Shauntality (2011-07-14 12:30:44)
The place is NORTHWOOD, dunno about Karen's last name though.
Katie (2011-07-04 21:10:04)
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
e (2011-06-29 04:42:03)
BEST ONE BY FAR
Joe S. (2011-06-23 17:36:59)
Damn Mike! I'd hate to get on your bad side...LoL!
ha HAa (2011-06-22 05:25:07)
: )
ha HAa (2011-06-22 05:24:47)
:)
Frankin (2011-06-10 14:29:07)
Oh God. I can't stop laughing. I love this website.
Yogi (2011-06-08 07:47:41)
Hahahaha.. shit, cant stop laughing at this :) Thanks!
James (2011-05-29 18:20:59)
I laughed so hard that I almost passed out! My head still hurts!
JC (2011-05-29 15:49:05)
Why is this one not on top rated???
anon (2011-05-27 10:12:30)
lmfaolmfaolmfao DIED!
adahna (2011-05-23 12:27:04)
Hahahahahaha Epic..!
Austin 3:16 (2011-05-22 00:26:03)
LMFAO THIS IS EPIC
Ryan (2011-05-20 08:22:44)
@Pat ... Flatten isn't her last name. Flatten is a verb meaning to crush or spread out. learn to read full sentences.
Waver (2011-05-18 09:55:26)
GOOD ONE - AND even with a picture :)
anonymous (2011-05-08 01:22:40)
22
Dorian (2011-05-08 01:03:39)
Helarious!~
MedStudent (2011-05-05 03:17:14)
This should be in the top rated section for sure!!!! I laughed so much it hurt!
NIBROC (2011-05-04 21:07:58)
LOL
cool kid (2011-04-21 21:39:50)
hahahahahahahahahahaha @pat you just made this like, google times funnier.
CK (2011-04-11 12:25:04)
To idiot directly under me-- you realize "flatten" isn't her last name, correct?
pat (2011-04-10 23:00:23)
you realize this person's last name wasn't redacted in the graphic?
Chad? (2011-04-09 22:56:35)
I laugh so hard at these i cry... not ashamed, just saying its awesome.
Miller =) (2011-04-06 21:54:09)
i cant stop laughing!! im crying
mj (2011-03-31 16:47:29)
That would be my first thought after seeing the steamroller ad: That's definitely NOT the type of person I want holding a garage sale in my neighborhood!
SAF (2011-03-25 21:38:53)
This had me laughing so much I was crying - and that never happens.
Sarah (2011-03-23 01:56:07)
i peed myself at the ad.
Petal (2011-03-23 00:34:45)
What a classic
elzabells (2011-03-22 17:35:14)
holy shit! 'killed five babies while operating a steam roller under the influence of crack cocaine' that made me lol so hard
John (2011-03-22 12:54:56)
Got that bitch a streamroller Bitches love streamrollers
gjones (2011-03-22 08:06:14)
steamrolled babies! LMAO!
rl (2011-03-22 03:45:17)
world class prick indeed
stoner (2011-03-17 23:46:17)
hahahahahahahhahaha ur freaking hilarious man, 420
Dale (2011-03-08 23:48:12)
Holy shit! Does the guy who does this actually read these comments? if so... Thanks! It must be fun to do these pranks... But my GOD I have't laughed so hard in a long time.!You're one twisted sick.. funny mother fucker!
JAMES MITCHELL (2011-03-05 14:09:21)
THE GARAGE SALE ONE IS SO COOL AND FUNNY AS HELL THAT IS AN AWESOME PRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Louder (2011-02-27 05:45:24)
@Karen. Wow I really hope your the karen he fucked with it would only make it that much sweeter
Airdudewolff (2011-02-26 09:52:40)
wow dude, this is by far my favorite one!! It is soooo fucked up, AWESOME!!
Karen (2011-02-23 22:57:48)
FUCK YOU, HOW DARE YOU DID THIS TO ME!
Ayn (2011-02-19 20:39:51)
I was laughing so hard I cried. That flyer is fucking funny.
anonymous (2011-02-18 06:33:07)
You Win The Garage sale
Spongebob (2011-02-16 16:31:52)
Lol killed five babies under crack cocaine...
xemnas (2011-02-15 13:53:14)
ZOMGROFLMFAO XDD that is the best one yet!
z0mg1337rofl (2011-02-13 02:33:01)
lmaowtfbbqzorz!!!111!!!1!one!!1
report you? (2011-02-07 04:20:08)
the cops would laugh at her for being a dumbass?
Big Bob (2011-01-24 10:31:08)
ass123
Mike (2011-01-18 21:57:35)
I bet that bitch thought she was so smart when she called him a world class prick in the last email
Chamillah (2011-01-09 14:15:33)
This dude...I love his jokes. I have this website in my favorites..
hoof_hearted (2011-01-07 16:16:36)
I think I pee'd a little...yup I did
Jeszi (2010-12-07 23:52:54)
bahaha I love how you actually put a disclaimer as to why you were doing this to her.
Mike (2010-12-05 19:42:14)
hahahaha "My garage sale is a classy experience" omg
Womb Raider (2010-11-26 10:20:34)
SUCCESSFUL TROLL IS SUCCESSFUL
roflcoptaaaa (2010-11-13 18:57:37)
OW! You owe me a new stomach - that advert you posted had me laughing so hard!!!
Justin Lewis (2010-11-02 23:29:30)
ownt :)
DororthyW (2010-11-01 02:38:41)
Each of the personas you take on is awesome I LOVE THIS!!
Al Gore (2010-10-26 19:23:04)
bitches can't drive, that's why she killed 5 babies
pinoy (2010-10-24 06:34:31)
fuck ye!
RL (2010-10-05 22:15:45)
There is a future for you in politics! lol
Anonymous (2010-10-05 08:58:28)
You win game.
Rinky (2010-10-03 13:33:42)
Would this be funny to you if it was your child squished by some crazed crack head. Have a little sympathy.
Donovan (2010-10-02 00:39:14)
Wow!! I can't believe I'm just now finding this site and book. Amazing.
wow.. (2010-09-21 18:08:16)
youre fucking hilarious! :D people who don't like this..prolly shouldn't comment on it. kthxbai :)
lol (2010-09-19 21:41:52)
dude u r awesome... U r genius at work..so funny...
Fog (2010-09-17 10:39:06)
Reading these in school while trying not to laugh is hard.
SweetBabyRaymond (2010-09-15 03:28:08)
When the steamroller ad came up I honestly almost blew my rectum laughing. I don't know for sure but I think you're the best e-mailer ever.
djue (2010-09-09 20:33:12)
don't laugh to often. you one funny sumbitch,keep it up
wow (2010-09-09 00:48:57)
These are seriously amazing
anonymous (2010-09-03 01:45:14)
what a bitch
writer (2010-08-28 08:30:28)
you have a great writing technique, just wish what u wrote was true, keep it up
my name (2010-08-26 17:44:16)
i love your things there so funny. do you really live in her neiborhood
rx (2010-08-26 09:59:40)
I hate spammers
nicxter (2010-08-22 03:23:08)
haha that woman was a jackass she deserved it :))
Someone With A Brain (2010-08-20 15:03:19)
The title of the book is highly appropriate, and we could use a lot less of 'them'.
Samantha (2010-08-17 12:13:55)
As always, HILARIOUS
monique (2010-08-16 11:15:10)
operating a steamroller while under the unfluence of crack cocaine?? ROFLcopter
Pat (2010-08-12 22:56:04)
You are pure genius!!! You have a multi million dollar future somewhere, dude!!!
andjoh (2010-08-11 06:51:30)
If you do not cancel your garage sale for this week I will have the street blocked off accessing your garage sale with the Symphony Orchestra and clowns with balloons and children causing havoc. Then let the adolescent teenagers rage and crash the neighbo
LOL (2010-08-07 09:37:31)
It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region...lolololol....rofl
Yeah pooper (2010-08-07 02:27:46)
I love to eat cheese!!!! It tastes so good, yum.
Rikki (2010-07-29 01:50:34)
Well then... 1 point for trying but I think you could have done better
Rikki (2010-07-29 01:47:10)
Well then... 1 point for trying but I think ypu could have done netter.
Eri (2010-07-29 01:16:56)
you are amazing hahaha
R-Mean (2010-07-23 17:18:39)
SWEEET!!! Ad hahaha
PeopleRDumb (2010-07-17 12:36:34)
I'm sick of the hormonal little girls going, "XDDDD dis is so funneh dis guy for LYFE hes so witti!!!!1" and all variations. No one cares about your opinion or mine, but at least I'm not a complete moron in the matter.
@Yuna (2010-07-17 12:34:57)
How is "world-class prick" a witty comeback?
Mike A (2010-07-16 02:29:21)
i just spent the last five minutes wiping the tears from my eyes, i was laughing so hard at this.
FUCKCAPSLOCK (2010-07-14 14:47:06)
Do. Not. Drink. While. Reading. You have been warned.
shitting fucker fuck (2010-07-11 19:44:39)
slander, you are a fucking moron dipshit
Sam I am (2010-07-08 02:45:13)
If I was holding a Garage sale, I would love posters like that to draw attention to it.
j (2010-07-02 07:26:45)
pure gold
adrian (2010-06-30 04:21:09)
he doesnt stop until he gets them swearing...
slander, hahah! (2010-06-23 03:50:15)
Technically it's Libel since it's in written form. Good job though!
Fahim (2010-06-20 15:04:51)
you are a fucking genius! i hope you never go evil! then all the tights wearing super heroes won't be able to stop you!
tiirediiyes (2010-06-15 07:19:36)
rofl!
Yuna (2010-06-13 23:37:33)
"From Karen ******* to Me: Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick." You got pwned! lol world class prick, that was witty xD
anonymous (2010-06-09 23:51:15)
I LOVE YOU!
Too damn fresh.. (2010-06-08 22:21:37)
I laughed so fucking hard about all of these that I literally puked. You have no idea how many people I show this site to. It's amazing. Who gives a shit if you slack on posting new stuff. You have a life other than sitting on your ass all day, I'
H (2010-06-03 21:11:27)
I LOVE YOU!!!! LOOOOOOOOOL
Swedish (2010-05-30 15:01:35)
Truely outrageous!
RJ (2010-05-28 21:34:39)
Funny she didnt deny killing five babies LMFAO
jamal shhhhhheraton (2010-05-26 07:38:04)
thats amazing!!!!
It Used To Be Funny (2010-05-25 14:46:21)
Dude what takes so long in between posts?
Jared Brown (2010-05-25 04:02:00)
OH MY GOD!!!!! So Good!
Derek (2010-05-24 16:19:34)
Dude... fuckin love this website so much. Just bought the book on Amazon for freakin $12 SHIPPED. Can't wait.
greg (2010-05-22 12:05:37)
Peter: Please learn how to spell genius. K?
anonymous (2010-05-20 16:48:55)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
dave (2010-05-18 20:34:12)
Its official, I shit my pants reading this stuff. I will bill you for the damage it caused to my pants, chair, and psychological state.
Libel (2010-05-18 00:46:49)
Hey Slander, please don't confuse us!
DemonSlayer (2010-05-18 00:04:44)
This just in: "slander" is a fucking moron.
to ross (2010-05-17 23:40:26)
whats wrong with you you sick fuck
ross (2010-05-17 23:39:40)
LOL "killed 5 babies"
Not Slander (2010-05-17 11:32:19)
You fool...he is just fucking with her, not literally posting ads in this broad's neighborhood. But I'm sure he appreciates the "warning"...jackass
slander (2010-05-17 00:06:42)
I hope you know that is considered slander right? and it's very illegal? just warning you. This site would take a different route altogether if you had to update it from prison
Peter (2010-05-14 13:02:23)
You my sir are a genious
Debbie (2010-05-11 16:57:29)
OMG Im trying not to lagh out loud cos my baby is asleep but im dying xD
MIchael (2010-05-09 14:39:57)
There is not better humor to do be found on the internet than this.
Di (2010-05-09 02:46:21)
Please update some moreeee!! Dying for your sarcastic humour!!
WasNr (2010-05-08 19:57:32)
baha, ah-hahaha. you are my unsung hero i must sing about. please, PLEASE keep up this for all of humanity to learn from.
solid as iraq (2010-05-07 09:28:14)
why don't you people come up with some material of your own.
WOW (2010-05-07 09:18:18)
Whatta bunch of twisted fucks you are!
TboneTom (2010-05-07 08:49:11)
yea im on board for the rape party too suicide bomber. But how will you rape ppl if you're already dead? maybe you could become a zombie and rape all the other dead ppl/zombies.
Over (2010-05-07 04:12:12)
U cunt face post a new one before ppl go ape shit over ur ass u freaking sell out hoe
t (2010-05-06 21:04:35)
t
mikeyb (2010-05-06 17:27:30)
HURRY THE FUCK UP AND UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jillian (2010-05-06 14:23:47)
...And I'm sorry I bought the book that has contributed to your inflated self-importance.
Jillian (2010-05-06 14:22:33)
I give up. I have been a loyal reader for a long time but I'm done. You no longer seem to have time for the people who made this site popular enough for you to even get the book deal. What a betrayal...
DonkeyPunch (2010-05-06 14:14:24)
... looks at calendar... ... Shuffles around in seat... ... taps foot....
Used to be a buyer (2010-05-06 14:12:15)
Well, this site is finished. Used to be the best site in the world, but its been abandoned. Happy trails dontevenreply.com.
T (2010-05-06 13:59:41)
Fuck man, ive been checking for days, it took over a month to get this one up. HURRY THE FUCK UP!
Voice of Reason (2010-05-06 11:14:54)
John L., please stop whoring your book and yourself and just put up some new material. Kthxbye
JB (2010-05-06 07:58:45)
Dude when are you putting something new out here? I've been checking for days and you have nothing! Come one man quit trying to sell your books and all this crap and just put some new material out here for us!
ballzgargle69 (2010-05-05 22:08:31)
uh, my dick is a house and my house is in your ass...that is all
guy (2010-05-05 20:47:46)
i think ive given up on this site :- it was funny though. great shit
Darna (2010-05-05 20:06:09)
Who says we have to kiss his ass? I spent my time coming here, and he's wasting it. Update or kick rocks.
Whatabunchof (2010-05-05 15:25:38)
complainers, whaaaaaa whaaaa whaaaa. REALLY?
LOL (2010-05-05 11:32:07)
LOL IM HUNG LIKE A PEPSI CAN
Vivi (2010-05-05 08:53:01)
You lazy fuck. Spend the money you made on this to hire other writers to do your job for you, if you can't deliver the funny on time.
GenX maths abilities (2010-05-05 04:12:37)
OMGZZZ ITZZZ BIN from 16t APRL OMGZZZ IZ BEEEEEN LAK 20341 DAYZZZ WTF MANNNNN
Definitely not gay (2010-05-05 04:09:47)
oh man I just came in my pants. Sooooo horny.
anonymous (2010-05-05 02:25:31)
Do it for the love not for the money you fucking faggot. No need to put up ads, I will never buy something like that on the internet. Dat's fookin stoopid
Geny mathimaticalclu (2010-05-04 23:11:02)
Yo mans you has been here're for a verrys longs tiems so Ima have to does the laths ok so it was at apricls 16 do integers at the may 4 so the integer differents is +16+-4%= •13627 days wow man!
pissedofguy (2010-05-04 20:37:00)
dude make a fuckin new thing im tired of seeing garage sale competition im getting really fuckin pissed off!!
D man (2010-05-04 17:55:35)
Man love ur stuff... Wish ud post often as am hooked on ur shit man
anonymous (2010-05-04 14:20:05)
I don't know about you guys, but if it were MY blog, nothing would make me want to update it more than comments like "get on the fucking ball, Partlow" and "post more stuff faggot". Seriously, I would be really surprised if those comme
Blue (2010-05-03 23:05:44)
HoFackinLarious!!!
Fatty (2010-05-03 22:11:24)
I love to eat McDonalds!
Morty Schlomo (2010-05-03 16:54:42)
The worst thing about your posts are they are few and far between. Get on the fucking ball Partlow!
virbius (2010-05-02 23:19:21)
fokkin beyootiful
anonymous (2010-05-02 23:18:51)
fokkin beautifil
kp63 (2010-05-02 05:50:45)
love it!
lol (2010-05-02 04:03:41)
book>site aparently since he doesnt update often, now is one every 2 months or something, maybe a lack of stupid ppl?
hello (2010-05-01 13:52:16)
moar plz!!
nigger (2010-05-01 12:58:36)
"you have been warned" - FIGHTING WORDS! also post more stuff faggot.
Jack Worthing (2010-05-01 09:32:33)
Jesus, how often do you post now? Once every 6 weeks?
fuckyou (2010-05-01 01:15:49)
meatpuppet.. I swear to crispy cream if that's not a les claypool reference ill buttfuck ur mother and never call her again
fuckyou (2010-05-01 01:11:14)
John, being from philly myself, I gotta say... You obviously made fuckin bank off ur book, and told this website to suck ur cack awhile ago. Good for u. Do work son.
Frosty (2010-04-30 02:10:09)
I want to be invited to the world class garage sale. I don't think I will be mistaking it.
lul (2010-04-29 11:06:34)
I don't get why you felt the need to say this one doesn't seem to deserve it. does anyone really care that you're steamrolling (i see what i did there) these people to help us laugh?
Look at the ads!!! (2010-04-29 04:39:34)
This guy is a whore for money!
meatpuppet (2010-04-29 01:20:00)
I love all you pointless faggots who whinge endlessly about the content and update frequency of free entertainment. Go impale yourselves on things.
Dane Cook (2010-04-28 16:27:19)
You know when you see a Yard Sale and you're like OMG A YARD SALE I NEED STUFF NOW YYYEEAHH
anonymous (2010-04-28 11:26:30)
idunno (2010-04-28 07:16:56)
SEE YA !
erika (2010-04-28 01:18:00)
I <3 how she says, "you have been warned!" Those are fighting words. The email signature is "best, mike" after posting the steamrolling flyer.
Suggestion (2010-04-27 13:54:36)
Why don't you guys make your own website... like "emails from an even bigger asshole" or something... and show us what you're capable of?
anonymous (2010-04-27 01:52:15)
bro, keep postin more of this shit. Its hella good
Marina (2010-04-26 23:59:46)
i just peed myself laughing
oscar meyer (2010-04-26 22:33:16)
god you are funny
anonymous (2010-04-26 22:01:07)
You know what would be cool? An RSS feed.
Fuck you (2010-04-26 21:53:14)
Fuck this dude for not posting new shit!!!
xen (2010-04-26 13:58:55)
if reading the comments is better than the post you failed but keep em coming and is ahe selling that steamroller at her garage sale???
Alalal (2010-04-26 09:35:26)
POST MORE YOU IDIOT I HATE YOU HSABVKUFYA5G
Smooshed Kid (2010-04-26 07:47:39)
Bitch only run me down cause she be smoking all the crack rock every damn day.
Brandon (2010-04-25 18:18:20)
Killed babies with a steamroller...what a heartless bitch. I wonder if it is easy to get a steamroller or if she had to go to a specialty store to rent it?
John (2010-04-25 16:41:50)
I love how I just came back from like the only garage sell I've been to and read this! I'm SOOO looking for a world class garage sell now! XD
f yeah (2010-04-24 19:03:15)
Best one yet. Been following this for a long time now and never did laughing hurt so bad. Keep being awesome!
Rickey (2010-04-24 18:41:13)
Fuck community college, lets get drunk and eat chicken fingers.
spoogemaster (2010-04-24 18:41:06)
I see some other people are in need of my world class ass plowing monstercock. I would be happy to assist everyone posting below me with their butt blockage issues so they too can enjoy this site :D
Isaiah (2010-04-24 15:30:11)
Dude, you have some advertising and a book out. Good for you, you deserve it. But you're fucking up. Hire some writers if you can't post every day or two. Craigslist is a Universe ripe for the picking. You want people coming back to your site dail
Shape up (2010-04-24 14:08:22)
Why are you still studying? You should quit your studies and devote yourself to this site full time.
bitch <3 (2010-04-24 13:00:27)
stfu. this is great, just like all the others. you guys have nothing better to do but rag on someone becuz you have no life, i mean really? grow up. ugh!
spoogemaster (2010-04-24 12:00:54)
I think fuckyou is hostile because he came home and found me fucking his mom up the ass with my world class cock, pay him no mind. Still wacking quarts of monkeyjuice off to this site! :D
californian (2010-04-24 08:38:09)
#1 proxy is right I love the cock. All over my face and mouth. Gotta love balls on my face as well.
Corey (2010-04-24 02:12:39)
The real beauty of this one is that I could swear I know this lady.
Andrew (2010-04-23 18:45:52)
World class stuff Mike. I could go for a BJ. Interested?
jim is a tool (2010-04-23 17:28:47)
yep.
californian (2010-04-23 14:46:33)
... i mean, really! It's funny because who the hell holds a "world class" garage sale with a bartender and string quartet! haha... O_o my apologies if such garage sales really exist.
californian (2010-04-23 14:45:09)
hmm... i thought this was very funny! I agree with some commenters who posted about "karen" being all stressed and anxious on the day of her sale being on the look out for a estranged "world class" garage sale-er!
awesome boner (2010-04-23 12:55:32)
i dunno why there are so many haters! i mean, it may not be a "disguised weapons" type of post, but it was still very funny nonetheless! and if she was an incessant spammer, then she totally was just asking to be trolled like a cunt. loved the
rec (2010-04-23 12:33:18)
awesome
What? (2010-04-23 06:44:55)
How are there so many haters? These are all great. Did the woman just get a bunch of commenters?
original (2010-04-23 04:08:57)
quit trying so hard dude, you are getting less and less funny
jim (2010-04-23 03:15:04)
Lame, cheap shots, easy target. FAIL.
fuckyou (2010-04-23 02:51:08)
The three mongoloids beneath me need to shut their collective dick suckers. I thought it couldn't get any worse than sueing for spillin coffee on ur own lap, but apparently I was wrong
Retard Scienterst (2010-04-22 23:29:38)
I DRINK BUCKETS OF PEE IF NOT YOUR GRANDMOTER'S!!! CURRECT FUCKFACE
Police Ociffer (2010-04-22 23:17:57)
Seriously guys? You think this one was gold??? I'd say this one was the lamest one. But it's still pretty godly. I'd rate it a 1/10 compared to a 10/10 like "disguised weapons". Please create more golden ones and more often. don't
spoogemaster (2010-04-22 20:51:53)
I shot a quadruple load on my keyboard and monitor. This site makes me wack off a quart of monkeyjuice every time I visit!!
Evilcid (2010-04-22 09:46:22)
@Fig. Wow! You must be english since your humor apparently blows. Why don't you stumble your cute little ass out of here and go sodomize yourself...WITH A FIREPOST
@fuckyou (2010-04-22 08:03:42)
I'm becoming a fan of your insults. Keep up the good work! lol
@Fig (2010-04-22 07:59:57)
FIG YOU!
Fig (2010-04-22 06:22:33)
Just stumbled upon this.. and I have to say this is the lamest thing I've ever read. It's a thing now, to troll in real life and try to evoke some sort of response from an innocent person.. then post it online and try to pretend it's humor?
Jacob (2010-04-22 04:08:49)
The clock is ticking... The site is not updated... Ok, so you're studying for finals. But you better spend all your holidays writing new shit.
Me (2010-04-22 02:47:58)
This was GREAT!
Amanda (2010-04-22 00:24:29)
Meh. -_- You've done way better.
fuckyou (2010-04-22 00:01:54)
Flattened off dick he... Que? Wtf was that brutal slaughter of the engrish ranguage?
flatened off dick he (2010-04-21 23:30:09)
hahahah i actually took time to post this comment but baby got hit by a steamer and FUCK U for reminding me
hooters (2010-04-21 22:45:39)
very funny
Clever (2010-04-21 22:06:26)
She probably hired security guards for protection the day of the sale. I gotta say, though, "world class prick" shows some real presence of mind.
fuckyou (2010-04-21 20:45:09)
@ zander... >_<... if you're serious... There's a great radiology department in philly... Get a cat scan my friend... Or roll up your tongue and clap for the kitty
Zander (2010-04-21 19:48:16)
1st
mikeyb (2010-04-21 15:52:41)
4 week wait for this? Mike... Im a fan, but this was not that funny. Come on... update more often!
SHANKSTER (2010-04-21 15:30:20)
another one bites the dust....ROFL.
StillRolling (2010-04-21 15:27:10)
I love this shit!
fuckyou (2010-04-21 13:15:46)
@ uh.. @me. Well thank you. I'm glad I could tickle ur little funny bone, there.
Cam (2010-04-21 12:40:15)
need more!
@fuckyou (2010-04-21 12:35:03)
LOL! You crack me up! I totally enjoy your anger. Love it!
KUDOS (2010-04-21 11:20:22)
Nice friggin job i enjoyed it, not your best but still hilarious. I like when you end them by yelling at them like in "Part Out Your Honda". Just my opinion, but its right.
Kushie (2010-04-21 10:50:13)
I fucking died at the picture.
Terence (2010-04-21 04:52:28)
not really funny
fuckyou (2010-04-20 23:08:19)
@taylor... So u leave a comment. Either trying to be funny through irony (fail) or just a dope. Also ya got one of those names that's either a dude or a broad, but either way... My dick, your mouth. BLOW ME! Unless your from the pork roll family.
Taylor (2010-04-20 20:08:52)
Most of the people that leave comments here are stupid.
fuckyou (2010-04-20 19:19:01)
@asdfds... Turn the britney spears record down douche rocket, u seem to have been head banging when typing ur name and being a waste of space
Snore (2010-04-20 19:11:29)
Should have gone to her garage sale and asked where the bartender was.
asdfasdf (2010-04-20 17:09:01)
TROLL
flattened child (2010-04-20 14:39:27)
you should have put up the ad...
Nice (2010-04-20 13:41:57)
She probably put 30 mins thought into her last reply. Her sale day is going to be nothing but apprehensive stress now...
Jennytailya (2010-04-20 11:46:06)
Holy shit! i fucking love it!
Nicole (2010-04-20 10:08:12)
Hahaha....put up another one soon! Love them!
Dune-can (2010-04-20 09:48:39)
LOL, you were never intending to hold a garage sale ;)
haters (2010-04-20 08:40:20)
Haters hate every pathetic thing in their nothing lives not just this site. They need to vanish from this site.
gotonethingtosay (2010-04-20 05:07:51)
...nice!
ryan (2010-04-20 01:16:52)
please don't ever stop this, ever.
AutismMom (2010-04-20 01:02:32)
lol! I wonder if she drove around the neighborhood looking for her competition on the day of her garage sale?
Jesus (2010-04-20 00:51:53)
I approve. Trolling is an art, one you have most certainly mastered. As Jesus, I do not hold much power anymore. But I can promise to keep Christians off your back if you want to troll them, too.
Gus (2010-04-19 22:53:36)
Wonderful World Class Pricks. Great Singapore
steve (2010-04-19 21:10:22)
Beautiful! Glad to see you're back and in fine form!
mike (2010-04-19 20:18:25)
This site sucks!
Roseann (2010-04-19 18:42:12)
Win.
Lauren28 (2010-04-19 17:49:07)
i'm a world class prick.
Lauren27 (2010-04-19 17:40:44)
To all the world class pricks that leave negative comments... stay off the site!!
Lauren27 (2010-04-19 17:40:03)
To all the world class pricks that leave negative comments... stay off the site!!
zebra (2010-04-19 16:44:27)
I wonder how paranoid she is now of all the neighbors within a few blocks? LOL
some guy (2010-04-19 15:53:13)
Funny a freakin' hell
the dude (2010-04-19 13:26:56)
sounds like we got some haters on this shit that should start their own site. oh wait, they're too fucking dumb to do anything original and on their own so they ridicule other people doing shit. the dude just released a book. go read it and get off th
hpl (2010-04-19 12:28:12)
Please more and faster. Great stuff. Pure Literature of the soul.
koko (2010-04-19 12:26:34)
I would definitely go to yours first.
*inlove* (2010-04-19 11:14:08)
"World class prick" huh? I'm not surprised. And I'd love to find out for sure.
Marianne (2010-04-19 11:11:39)
"Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is just absolutely classic. I love it..
G (2010-04-19 10:52:04)
Great stuff, fuck the haters, keep em coming, I love to log in and see them, if I had a credit card would definately be ordering your book. Will be looking in Waterstones in Hastings for it.
Kim (2010-04-19 09:18:34)
This was dumb but her last comment was classic.
honey (2010-04-19 09:11:59)
also, I bought 3 copies of your book, and they are all great! Make another, cause I finished reading it already thanks.
honey (2010-04-19 09:10:43)
its funny because that other woman's garage sale is clearly shittier than the world class garage sale around the corner
dan (2010-04-19 07:25:42)
"world class prick".... quality
zergling (2010-04-19 04:05:23)
I think the "world class prick" comment is funnier than most of Mike's replies.
karenshusband (2010-04-19 03:59:08)
Not funny. More frequent updates please. Wanker.
bizmark (2010-04-19 02:55:35)
keep doing what you are doing. you have a very special comedic talent. thanks for the laughter :)
Swapnil (2010-04-19 02:43:05)
garage sale "connoisseurs". Awesome
Falko (2010-04-19 02:24:54)
I hate Karen!
wow... (2010-04-19 00:23:11)
im speechless.. best one of all time
spence (2010-04-19 00:11:51)
dude this is awsome haha so funny!
Megan (2010-04-18 22:45:41)
The poster had me laughing out loud!!
D (2010-04-18 20:57:42)
You're losing it. The last two have sucked. For that I am not buying your book. Ya Asshole!
bonertoner (2010-04-18 18:38:40)
all u faggots saying its not funny, l2humor dumbshits lulz
jess (2010-04-18 18:24:36)
this one really isnt funny
zexe (2010-04-18 17:50:25)
EPIC! HAHAHA
Lol (2010-04-18 17:41:12)
Great awesome xD that poster really made me laugh
Hammett (2010-04-18 13:34:59)
C'mon dude. U can do better than this
muslim_stomper (2010-04-18 13:34:02)
what is that at the bottom supposed to be? A river of blood xD?
Fish (2010-04-18 12:40:42)
I'm doing everyone a favor and just staying inside and punchin my clown til dust comes out. I do not need to have kids or leave the house for that matter anyway
dave (2010-04-18 09:27:20)
LOL the idea of a string quartet at someone's garage sale is hilarious
god (2010-04-18 05:52:15)
GO Back to the pond Fish
From A PooC (2010-04-18 03:07:46)
dude, you are hilarious. cannot believe the shit you go through to pull these off. nice work. hope to see new ones soon. hands down my favorite one so far is the carpet and cleaning supplies. haha
Megan (2010-04-18 00:15:52)
@Fish her last name isnt flatten you moron
Linds (2010-04-17 23:43:30)
Love it! am dying to get a copy of your book!
Heather (2010-04-17 23:25:29)
Nice.
lmfao (2010-04-17 22:38:36)
I like her insult "world class prick" lol
Lindsey (2010-04-17 20:54:04)
*loud
Lindsey (2010-04-17 20:53:48)
my favorite in a while!!! Thanks for making me laugh out out =)
putaindetarace (2010-04-17 20:18:32)
you could have taken this one a lot further! disappointed... fuck karen
Z (2010-04-17 17:48:15)
I'm a huge fan. Great work! Fuck everyone who comes here to talk shit, go away. Also I liked "wagonlover"s comment a ways down. He is so right she will be driving around looking for signs and other garage sales more than likely finding one and
baahaha (2010-04-17 16:01:27)
Yea fish, the broads name is Karen Flatten!!!! What r u some kinda ra tard?! I think karen needs to go on another crack binge so she can flatten ur dumb ass! U should not be allowed to reproduce!!
FIsh is retarded (2010-04-17 15:24:50)
Seriously? You are not smart enough for the internet.
Fish (2010-04-17 15:19:51)
Might want to blur out her last name on that sign
Eric (2010-04-17 15:13:38)
Classic. There's not much in the world I laugh out loud at anymore, but you do it to me every time, dude. Ignore the naysayers. Hopefully, they'll find some lameass site that suits their idea of humor.
FECES GRENADE (2010-04-17 14:14:49)
I like how most people who post in the comments section are as whiny as the people you fuck with.
duh (2010-04-17 12:27:08)
The guys name is not actually mike, christ he even has a book with his name on the fuckin front cover and ppl still call him mike?! 12 steps nehind on a 10 step program morons
zsasz (2010-04-17 11:02:08)
lol. i want to go to this world class garage sale XD
johnbob (2010-04-17 10:56:50)
way to go bro. ignore all these pricks who keep complaining they can go elsewhere for their entertainment
r (2010-04-17 10:53:25)
so so.. Funny but compared to your other works which are pure gold btw, this is like on the borderline.. Thank you though. cant wait for the nxt one
Bonafide (2010-04-17 10:28:08)
This one is great. I loved it! Hope you update more often. All you dumbasses telling him how he should've done it, go start your own website.
FutureScientistMan (2010-04-17 09:11:32)
cool story, bro.
danny (2010-04-17 09:04:42)
i loved your other stuff, i actually really laughed at some, but this was just boring and kind of not funny. sorry to say so mate
zz (2010-04-17 06:45:38)
nice one
larry (2010-04-17 06:08:00)
shaddup u ungrateful pricks quit complaining about late updates
Heh (2010-04-17 05:02:40)
This time you really were a world class asshole.
Gorbage (2010-04-17 04:31:59)
No need to complain, this one was good.
Meh. (2010-04-17 04:15:41)
Read all your jokes. This one is mediocre. Favorite one is Disguised Weapons that shit is fucking GOLD. Make more updates man think about your plot more. And honestly everyone I know who's read these all agree (including me) that the ones with the
god (2010-04-17 02:23:36)
I am pleased
Faggot Fan 374 (2010-04-17 00:11:48)
WOW Mike!! I am a big fan of your work keep it up man you're so funny! I envy your potential. Maybe someday I could grow up to be like you one day!
Police Ociffee (2010-04-17 00:08:40)
Oh yeah, btw thanks I have another cracked woman to taze tomarrow. It's always fun :P
Up yours (2010-04-17 00:08:31)
Metal up your ass!! This is ridick. Keep up the good work and I'll keep coming back!
Police ociffer (2010-04-17 00:00:04)
You are underarrest for not making me laugh for 1 month straight. Son, I am Disapoint.
wagonlover (2010-04-16 23:12:47)
I bet tomorrow she will be driving aroung the neighborhood looking for the world class garage sale.
Lulz (2010-04-16 22:57:52)
"my garage sale is a "world class" event." will be my new signature on my work e-mail address.
CCC (2010-04-16 22:47:25)
"you world class prick" hahaha
anonymous (2010-04-16 21:48:27)
*best wow lol
alex (2010-04-16 21:47:49)
not one of your bests. You really need to update more often
Nate (2010-04-16 21:35:35)
Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
OGC (2010-04-16 21:21:07)
That's all you could come up with? Really?
Taleen (2010-04-16 20:43:20)
Can't she see that your garage sale is world class? I mean, come on, Karen!!!
Protege (2010-04-16 19:45:12)
That was great man. I just had a go at this myself on Omegle, bit more taboo though which may or may not make it more interesting. I used copypasta btw, if you recognise the story... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: h
Alex (2010-04-16 19:07:14)
Stupid bitch. Doesn't she understand his garage sale is world class!
Casey (2010-04-16 19:01:46)
Hilarious! LOVE IT
ml (2010-04-16 18:32:36)
about fucking time you updated
William (2010-04-16 17:52:18)
This is your worst one yet. Not funny at all. If you only do 1 update per month, you need to make them better than this.
andromeda (2010-04-16 17:45:58)
EDIT: her*
andromeda (2010-04-16 17:44:06)
I don't know... you could have taken a different angle here, maybe to ask here if you could add some of your stuff to her gar(b)age sale. You were annoyed cause she was spamming and that clouded your creativity a bit. Cool down, plot and execute ;)
RMR (2010-04-16 17:35:21)
laughing out loud thinking about the amount of stress you put on this woman's life for a few days. classic.
HappyHateDay (2010-04-16 17:26:25)
BITCH!!! *Gives Mike a Trophy* I know how you feel dood. Sometimes you have to go all out on the crazies.
Megan (2010-04-16 17:16:57)
This was hilarious! It's always fun to come to this website never knowing when a new post will be up, it's like a great surprise!
nico (2010-04-16 16:56:50)
Brilliant! It's been worth the long wait :D
CacaMierda (2010-04-16 16:55:16)
not so good -.-
zebra (2010-04-16 16:54:16)
Sounds like a typical pro-birth argument to me. :)
Josh (2010-04-16 16:49:43)
Awesome
josh_UK (2010-04-16 16:12:36)
haha mate wow... what a bunch of stepid hick red necks arguin over a bnch of retarted bull wallop. get a life you inbredd scumbags
Dick cheese (2010-04-16 16:03:51)
This is a very funny one. Well done. LOL
Karen (2010-04-16 15:58:08)
Cancelled my sale cuz I don't want everyone knowing about '97!
Mom (2010-04-16 15:40:18)
Great entry! And all you ungrateful brats, quit whining that the updates aren't frequent enough. Be grateful that the site is here at all.
Ely (2010-04-16 15:36:42)
"DON'T LET KAREN FLATTEN YOUR CHILDREN TOO." please update more often. i'll buy your book and everything.
Goatse (2010-04-16 15:19:54)
vin (2010-04-16 14:38:12) yes indeed...
TL (2010-04-16 15:04:02)
Thanks for the update. I thought you had died.
Bug (2010-04-16 14:50:58)
Great, now do this more than once a month.
Lol (2010-04-16 14:47:30)
Holly shi*! I saw those ads as well and I think I know her. I'll put up some of those fliers myself. Oh, the lulz...
hahhahhahhahahah (2010-04-16 14:43:50)
ahhahhahhahhhahhahhaaaaaaaaahhahhahahahhahhahhahhahhhahha
vin (2010-04-16 14:38:12)
Could have been better, not worth the wait.
Mastema (2010-04-16 14:20:06)
Great work! Keep it up... you seriously make my days so much better when I read your material LOL
juan (2010-04-16 14:18:35)
priceless
Loves It (2010-04-16 14:17:21)
"DONT LET KAREN FLATTEN YOUR CHILDREN" LOL!!!!!!
Wisdom (2010-04-16 14:07:19)
Not to bad, different approach then most of your previous work. 7/10. Steamroller..lol.
Rico Salvaje (2010-04-16 13:55:09)
Shit, now to wait 3 months for an update.
just donated you (2010-04-16 13:54:11)
I just donate $645.33 dollars
Jack Worthing (2010-04-16 13:51:29)
BOR-RING! LAME! You can do better... DUMBASS!
The E (2010-04-16 13:39:43)
I like how fucking clever she thinks she is in her last correspondence.
Yes Please! (2010-04-16 13:34:35)
my smile just got a little wider
Michele (2010-04-16 13:22:50)
That was most excellent ... LMAO!
just donated you (2010-04-16 13:16:39)
just donated you 5 bucks as a thank you Mike... you're hilarious...
kenny (2010-04-16 13:14:49)
he still signs off "best" after that horrific slanderous ad.
Dunk-in (2010-04-16 13:13:38)
brilliant, as usual
Baby #1 (2010-04-16 13:03:30)
This bitch be trippin' balls all the time, yo!
Andre M (2010-04-16 13:02:18)
fucking epic!
matt (2010-04-16 13:00:18)
CRACK COCAINE.... love it
Paul (2010-04-16 12:55:33)
I'm just trying to imagine the chain of events necessary to end up with 5 babies in front of a steam roller. Excellent. This is better than gold, it's vanadium.
Frank (2010-04-16 12:49:31)
The best part is that she's going to be losing her mind tomorrow (4/17) wondering a) if you're going to crash her sale, and b) how close you really are to her!
Shawner (2010-04-16 12:47:05)
Bwahahahaha! Awesome! How rude of her not to even entertain the idea or rescheduling. I'll keep my eyes peeled for cracked out women driving steamrollers. Thanks for the warning! LMAO!
Andrew (2010-04-16 12:45:51)
This is pure gold.
ash (2010-04-16 12:45:09)
awesome rofl

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