DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Escalade Bodyguard
Posted at: 2009-06-24 08:14:22
Original ad:
2007 Cadillac Escalade for sale - 38,000 miles. Great condition! Asking $40,000. E-mail if interested.
From Mike Partlow to **************@*********.org

Hey,

I have a proposition for you. I will give you $50 if you let me borrow your Escalade for tomorrow night. I have been trying to get a date with this girl, but the only way I was able to get her to go on a date with me was by telling her that I am a very rich and powerful drug dealer. The problem is, I am not a drug dealer, and I actually drive a 91 Honda Accord. She will know I am lying if I pick her up in that. The only chance I have of getting with this chick is if I roll up in your ballin Escalade. If you let me borrow it, on top of giving you $50, I will put a few gallons of gas in it. I promise we will not have sex on your seats.

Please help me out!

Mike

From James ******* to Me

Absolutely not. The car is not for rent!

From Mike Partlow to James ********

James,

I am willing to pay you up to $60 to borrow your Escalade. If you are worried about me messing it up, you can ride with me. In fact, you can drive it. I'll tell her you are my bodyguard. That would actually work out better, I think. Do you look like a bodyguard? You'd have to wear a suit, and possibly one of those earpieces with the coiled cord running down your neck. You should occasionally touch the earpiece to your ear, like you are listening to some badass security chatter. You shouldn't talk have to talk much, just drive and look badass.

Please reconsider my offer.

Mike

From James ******** to Me

No. That is stupid. Maybe you should try asking out a woman that isn't a materialistic gold digger.

From Mike Partlow to James *********

Golddigger or not, this girl's rack is phenominal. Tell you what, if you consider my offer and I end up getting laid, I will try to snap a picture of her tits with my cellphone and send it to you. Trust me, they are great.

Mike

From James ******** to Me

Shut up. You aren't borrowing my car.

From Mike Partlow to James *********

Well James, you are being a cockblocker. I hope next time you are trying to get your D wet, you get the shit cockblocked out of you.
Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Philipstove (2017-11-28 09:28:29)
ome people, especially those running on busy daily schedules tend to use the pills to help maintain weight since they can not afford to follow all the diet programs. This is not advised. It is recommended that one seek advice from a professional in this f
Richardvunda (2017-11-11 04:51:01)
Doctors have many challenges to face as they are perennially surrounded by patients, diseases, hospital duties and over-extended or odd shift timings. Universally, doctor is considered to be a noble profession and respectable one at that, but a doctor als
Richardvunda (2017-11-09 17:11:24)
Doctors have many challenges to face as they are perennially surrounded by patients, diseases, hospital duties and over-extended or odd shift timings. Universally, doctor is considered to be a noble profession and respectable one at that, but a doctor als
avattixSityfish72 (2017-03-11 13:49:42)
<p>I write at least twenty headlines before choosing the one which I will use.End 4: Be Yourself Most courting tips will tell you there presently exists expectations you need to live up to so as to attract and date most women.Many factors enter into
avattixSityfish61 (2017-03-07 10:41:18)
<p>Understand the Alternate Lyrics report to refresh your memory and keep most pointers in mind.Individuals who are experienced in the field of making and managing opt-in list will provide very helpful to a person.Then you need to know that it does
avattixSityfish41 (2017-02-25 16:13:09)
<p>After the Dachshund had cornered its prey from a tunnel, he barked to allow hunter know where the person was located under soil.This sets a beautiful foundation for self-esteem and additionally self-respect, which is so very important for our chi
avattixSityfish01 (2017-02-18 18:52:56)
<p>Using the Political Class I be aware of the title today may be a little cruel but I believe that it is true.That will print stickers and attach within the product is very prevalent for product decoration considering that printed stickers perfectl
avattixSityfish79 (2017-02-17 11:36:08)
<p>Figure out fantastic ways of building your list on the author invites you to vacation at: Article Source: &nbsp; View More Videos out of your "Marketing" category: How to Monitor Online Buzz Considerations on Profitable Marketing 11
avattixSityfish25 (2017-02-16 02:47:05)
<p>Check us out at Greek clothing to observe our complete clothing items.Not one but two: Not thoroughly checking outside seo services - When purchasing a package, one of crucial things to do is to carefully visit seo services offering in which pack
BrendaEl (2016-03-19 13:08:48)
Hello there! I could have sworn I've been to this website before but after reading through some of the post I realized it's new to me. Nonetheless, I'm definitely delighted I found it and I'll be bookmarking and checking back often!
CharlesGal (2016-03-08 21:18:45)
Magnificent goods from you, man. I've take into accout your stuff previous to and you're simply extremely magnificent. I actually like what you've got right here, really like what you're saying and the way in which in which you say it.
TabithaQuox (2016-01-24 01:33:07)
Here are some right information. Assumption, it wishes be practical in compensation You Medicament is the capacity and savvy of healing. It includes a multifariousness of fettle be biased practices evolved to maintain and resuscitate health. [url=h
TabithaQuox (2016-01-24 01:31:05)
Here are some profitable information. Anticipate, it will be helpful in compensation You Panacea is the duplicity and know-how of healing. It includes a amalgamate of robustness concentration practices evolved to put up with misery of and return heal
KennethLype (2015-12-28 14:45:27)
Novel online apothecary - high nobility drugs, lewd prices, express childbirth, discounts, worldwide shipping.Our diminish online chemist's shop stipulate high grandeur generic drugs alongside foul prices, immediate emancipation worldwide. Generic dru
RichardPync (2015-06-24 09:49:02)
For a lonely man an escort could be the answer to a fun stuffed and an enthralling evening. When you e book an escort woman from in Paris, as a consumer you possibly can make certain that you'll undoubtedly meet a beautiful companion who will acc
Taylorki (2015-06-07 14:30:25)
In only one television appearance, President Barack Obama managed to re-energize his Democratic base. In an interview with ABC News, the president got here out in favor of identical-sex marriage. I didn't have youngsters to turn them into carbon
Ian (2013-10-28 20:48:10)
im seriously dieing. between the guy asking if he looked like a body guard and the cadilac ad on the left best yet.
@melissa (2013-10-27 03:55:19)
That's why he responds to only the foolish posts on CL.
Zach (2013-07-28 19:16:23)
I would've been all over that offer!
efkmerk (2013-05-05 05:56:05)
hahahaha u are awesome:P
derp (2013-03-12 21:48:43)
@melissa Look at the date of the post... When did you sell your car? Maybe you should "smh" again and use a frying pan.
Tadashi (2013-02-13 03:15:13)
@melissa: That's exactly why he deserved this. :oD
TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 23:29:35)
Crying uncontrollably at "Do you look like a bodyguard?"
melissa (2013-01-10 18:02:19)
wow i only got 10,000 for my 2007 escalade with around the same mileage and with all the extras it was decked out in excelent condition and not to mention it was the esv or extended version with an extra row of seats. Smh at posting cars at retail prices.
Sachkeerat Singh (2012-07-21 15:07:30)
My Turban Is Dirty

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks